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Will I Regret Placing My Baby For Adoption?

By Moki Murillo

Having an unexpected pregnancy is already a sensitive topic to deal with. Placing your baby for adoption can add to this difficulty. In our experience, the worst difficulties often stem from a birth mother’s doubts and second thoughts. If you are considering adoption, you may have already asked yourself this question. 

“Will I regret placing my baby for adoption?”

When it comes to private adoptions in Arizona, that answer often varies from birth mother to birth mother. Not only will your mentality going into the adoption affect your answer, but your circumstances can as well. Over the years, we have worked with birth mothers who never regretted their decision and those who later did. In either case, each birth mother’s unique circumstances affected how they would feel in a myriad of different ways.

Regardless of whether or not you regret this decision, Adoption Choices of Arizona will support you. Feeling remorse over your decision is just as valid as not doing so. Choosing to pursue child adoption is a big decision, and it will affect you emotionally one way or another. Regret is simply one way it might manifest.

Why Might I Not Regret Adoption?

Birth mothers who don’t regret choosing private adoptions in Arizona often remind themselves of their circumstances. Many birth mothers have circumstances that prevent them from raising their babies. These circumstances can be as drastic as abusive households, health problems, or limited financial means. However, there are birth mothers with less extreme circumstances. Their reasoning can be comparably simple, such as realizing that they are not ready for parenthood after self-reflection.

While their circumstances are many, these birth mothers believed they ultimately made the right choice for their children. They remind themselves that their choice is selfless, and their children will benefit from it. That isn’t to say that these birth mothers have no moments of doubt at all, however. Lapses in confidence can happen, but our adoption agencies in Arizona can help mitigate doubt.

As part of the adoption process, Adoption Choices of Arizona allows birth mothers to choose the adoptive family. This option is not available if you choose a closed adoption, which doesn’t permit contact with the adoptive family. Choosing an open or semi-open adoption does allow you to review the families on our website. You can even schedule an interview with a family before making a choice. Many birth mothers use this service to make sure that their child is going to a good home. They often also use an open or semi-open adoption to check up on their child and reaffirm their choice.

Why Might I Regret Adoption?

When it comes to regretting adoption, our adoption agencies in Arizona found that the topic is often complex. Many of the birth mothers we work with won’t always feel regret until much later. Regret can also come and go sporadically, especially in key milestones like their child’s birthday. Like with the opposite camp, the reasons why a birth mother would regret their decision can vary.

One birth mother might regret missing their chance at parenthood and the life they might have with their child. Another might run through a list of “what-ifs” in their head and convince themselves they chose wrong. Often, birth mothers might not have time to process their emotions while the adoption is happening or just happened. These negative feelings can be exacerbated by conditions, such as pregnancy hormones and postpartum depression.

Adoption Choices of Arizona understands the need to support birth mothers through this difficult time. As such, we can provide services meant to support mental health through pregnancy and beyond.

Mental Health Resources for Birth Mothers Choosing Adoption

If you are pregnant and need help with your mental health, our agency can offer free counseling. Adoption Choices of Arizona offers a variety of therapies to suit the diverse mental needs of our birth mothers. In addition to therapy, we can offer retreats meant to give you a break from life to mentally recharge.

Talk to your adoption specialist if you need recommendations for what mental health services can serve you best. How much aid you will receive from our adoption agencies in Arizona depends on your circumstances. For example, a birth mother with supportive parents would likely need less aid than a single mother living alone. 

Regardless of your circumstances, we recommend that you take care of your mental health during this time. Even if you feel confident about adoption, the challenges of pregnancy and the adoption process can be draining. An existing support network can help immensely. As self-isolation is often harmful to a birth mother’s mental health, support from loved ones can be vital. 

Having both a support network and professional help is the ideal scenario for a birth mother in adoption. However, we understand that not every birth mother has the former. In that case, we can also connect you to various support groups that focus on birth mothers. While we can’t guarantee that you’ll make friends, you will at least have opportunities for connection.

A Message for All Birth Mothers in Adoption

Choosing to participate in the adoption process as a birth mother can be trying for anyone. Doubt and anxiety are often part of that journey, but it’s okay not to be okay. You came to us because you love your child. This separation can be hard on anyone, but your reasons for adoption are just as valid. It’s also fine if you are consistently confident about your choice. Making peace with adoption should never be seen as a sign of neglect. Rather, it’s a mark of wisdom and maturity. A good parent does what is best for their child.

When you start your adoption journey, we hope that you remember to be good to yourself regardless. To begin the adoption process with us at Adoption Choices of Arizona.