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Understanding Why Birth Mothers Choose Adoption

By Megan Kostraba

Adoption is a very personal, unique, and difficult experience. It’s challenging and intimidating, and a lot of people don’t like talking about it, even in the modern day, because of its taboo ancestry. It raises the question then: Why do birth mothers ultimately choose adoption? Most people on the outside know that adoption is hard but might not understand why. 

Adoption truly is an amazing experience for all parties involved! It provides a loving and caring home for a child and lets the birth mother move on to her next journey in life. It does, however, also mean accepting a lot of other factors. These factors that most birth mothers, universally, experience. 

At Adoption Choices of Arizona, we understand the concerns, worries, and wishes of our birth mothers. We work closely with women from all walks of life and know that an unplanned pregnancy can be quite scary! As an adoption agency, our goal is to make sure that all our birth mothers feel confident, secure, and comfortable with their adoption journeys. Let’s explore the adoption process and understand adoption from a birth mother’s perspective. 

Adoption is Not An Easy Choice 

Right off the bat, it’s integral to understand that considering adoption for your baby is no easy choice. There are a lot of factors to consider when choosing adoption, as well as a lot to accept. Birth mothers must consider all of their options during unexpected pregnancies. They then choose the one that is best for themselves as well as their child. All of this decision-making is very overwhelming and intimidating! It takes a lot of time for a woman to feel solid about her decision.  

Women choose adoption for countless reasons—financial instability, medical issues, personal goals, or conflicting opinions from family are just a few. Women also choose adoption because they are not ready for motherhood or might not even want it! What’s important to remember is that every woman’s reason is unique, and your choice is very personal. There is no reason to defend yourself and your choice. Begin by trusting yourself and remembering that you are choosing what is best for your child! Sometimes, that choice just might be adoption.

There are a lot of misconceptions out there about adoption. Some people believe that choosing adoption means that you don’t love your child or that you are “giving up” on motherhood. These people are making assumptions. Many do not understand all of the trials and tribulations birth mothers experience. 

Adoption is an Emotional Journey

Placing your baby up for adoption means accepting all of the factors that follow. Even if you want to be a mother, that is not the role you are going to play in your child’s life. You have to accept all the ways that adoption may change your life—birth mothers experience so many different emotions on their journeys. Along with adoption also comes a lot of decision-making. It can be very overwhelming when you are already doubting yourself and your choice. 

Being pregnant and dealing with all of your confusing emotions is hard! You might feel relief after your choice, knowing adoption was right for you. Feeling that relief then may cause you to feel guilty—a shared emotion between birth mothers. Women who choose adoption often feel grief and guilt because they feel like they are “giving up” on their children.

At our adoption agency, we like to use PAL, also known as positive adoption language! Using the term “giving up your child for adoption” has a negative connotation. We want our birth mothers to think positively about adoption. We use techniques and strategies like this to help birth mothers understand and feel confident in their choices. Many birth mothers go through a period of recommended counseling after and during their adoption. We have a team of adoption specialists ready to help birth mothers who need help understanding and expressing their feelings. Reaching out for pregnancy help can be difficult, but our adoption agencies in Arizona are ready to help you on your journey. 

Experiencing the Adoption Process 

We know that going through the actual adoption process can seem scary, but that is why we are here to help you through it! An adoption specialist from our agency will work with you to create a unique adoption plan that suits your needs and wishes. We will provide guidance throughout the entire process—before, during, and even after. We believe that a birth mother should never feel alone. 

Choosing Adoption Today

We want everyone to understand that birth mothers are courageous, selfless, and resilient women! Birth mothers choose their decision out of so much love for the child, despite all of their hardships! This is what makes birth mothers selfless and not selfish. Adoption is about providing love and opportunities for a child and finding a home with loving and caring people. Birth mothers make this choice, accepting that home might not be with them. 

If you are considering placing your baby for adoption, you can reach out to any of our adoption agencies in Arizona. We want to provide you with the care you deserve and a community of people who understand your concerns.