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What’s with the Persistent Stigma Behind Adoption? 

By Megan Kostraba

Many women in today’s world have chosen to follow the adoption process for their baby. Yet, it is still something that people consider a “taboo” subject. It’s safe to say that there are some strong opinions about adoption out there in the world. As an adoption agency, however, it’s our job at Adoption Choices of Arizona to remind birth mothers that adoption is a wonderful option! 

Despite all the stigma that surrounds adoption, it truly is an option for women experiencing unplanned pregnancies. Placing your baby up for adoption is a hard choice! We get it! We want you to understand the stigma around adoption and why we can dispel it. Our adoption specialists want you to feel confident, secure, and comfortable about your adoption. Our adoption agencies in Arizona are here to help you face all your concerns and fears. So, let’s talk about the persistent stigmas that surround adoption. 

Birth Mothers that Place their Baby Up for Adoption Don’t Love Them

This is such a common misconception about adoption. Many people believe that the birth mothers who have chosen adoption for their child simply do not care about them. We know that this could not be more wrong! Adoption always stems from a place of love and care. The choice itself isn’t easy either! Many birth mothers make their adoption choice for so many different reasons. Health issues, financial stability, personal relationships or goals, the list goes on! An unplanned pregnancy is something many women have experienced and will continue to experience as time goes on. 

We understand that not all women are ready for motherhood or even want it in the first place. And that’s okay! The reason adoption even exists is to give both and your child opportunities you might not have otherwise. Choosing adoption doesn’t mean that a birth mother doesn’t love their child. It means that a mother loves their child so much that they want them to have the best opportunities in life! Sometimes, that means being with an adoptive family. 

Birth Mothers are “Giving Up on their Child” by Choosing Adoption

Another huge misconception about adoption. Some people might not realize how thorough the adoption process really is! As an adoption agency, our adoption specialists take the time to craft a unique adoption plan that best suits you and your child. We can ensure that your child will be placed in a loving and caring home through our extensive home study interviews. Choosing adoption is not “giving up” on anything—it’s guaranteeing that your child will grow up happy and loved. 

Some people in the world don’t realize what a privilege it is to have a stable and loving family. Not everyone has that, including some birth mothers. Adoption is a way to make sure that their child will grow up in a caring and plentiful environment. 

Birth Mothers are Only Teenage Girls 

At a certain age, any woman is capable of being pregnant. There are so many women in the world that have faced the scariness of an unplanned pregnancy. Older, younger, somewhere in the middle—none of it really matters. The fear that can stem from an unplanned pregnancy is a communal feeling, regardless of a woman’s age. 

Adoption remains an option for birth mothers of all shapes. As an adoption agency, we’ve worked with women that come from all walks of life. No matter your age or background, we will aid you in finding the pregnancy help you deserve. 

Birth Mothers Can’t Have a Relationship with their Child Post-Adoption

Depending on her wishes, a birth mother can absolutely have contact with their child! This is a type of adoption called open adoption, where a birth mother and the adoptive family form a relationship. The depth and type of relationship is really up to both parties and is something that will have to be agreed on. However, it is common for both parties to stay in contact! If keeping a relationship is something important to you, you can tell your adoption specialist as you discuss your adoption plan. We then work with you and the potential adoptive family to make sure your wishes come true! Keeping contact with your child post-adoption is common through:

  • Digital communication 
  • Video calls 
  • Exchange of photos/videos 
  • Emails
  • Calls 
  • In-person meetings 

Birth Mothers Make the Easy Choice by Choosing Adoption

To get it out in the open, choosing adoption for your child is one of the hardest decisions a woman can make. It can be intimidating, frustrating, and mentally challenging. Choosing adoption means accepting that you are not going to be a mother, even if you want to. Accepting that you will need time to mentally and physically heal from the stress and pressure your body goes through. Even accepting that you will face feelings of guilt, regret, and grief after your adoption. Adoption is by no means just an “easy choice.” 

Adoption is also a wonderful experience. It can be fulfilling, loving, and sad all at the same time. Our adoption agencies in Arizona understand all of the emotions that surround your adoption and can offer counseling services to our birth mothers. We want you to understand the processes your mind and body are going through. You deserve help during your adoption, and we are here to provide it. We know that your choice was not easy, and we want to help you throughout your adoption journey. 

Why All the Stigma About Adoption? 

All of these misconceptions lead to people feeling suspicious about adoption. Some people don’t trust that birth mothers have the best intentions or that agencies are truly there to help. The best thing one could do about all of these misconceptions is understand why they’re just that—misconceptions. Your adoption is a personal, unique journey. Your reasons are your own, and you know them to be true and stem from love. That is what is most important. 

If you’re wondering about these misconceptions or about adoption in general, reach out to us! You can find our adoption agencies near you to discover more about adoption and even begin your own journey. Let’s get started on dispelling these misconceptions together.