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Serving Expectant Parents Statewide With Offices located in:
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How to Write a Letter to Your Birth Child

One of the cornerstones of open adoption as we know it today is your ability, as a birth parent, to maintain a healthy relationship with your child. For birth mothers everywhere, open adoption allows you to communicate with your children who live with their adoptive parents. This simultaneously allows you to be a part of your child’s life, while still giving them a better opportunity to be successful in the future by growing up in a better, healthier environment. Even if your child lives with an adoptive family, it does not prevent you from having a special connection with them, and at Adoption Choices of Arizona, we want to help you grow that special connection

When one of the primary benefits of an open adoption is the openness of communication, you might be wondering what the best way to reach out to your child is. Many birth mothers traditionally opt for the medium of writing a letter. A letter is a great option, as it provides you with a sense of intimacy while also giving you all the time you need to prepare and perfect what you want to say. This makes it a valuable skill for all birth mothers to learn how to write a letter to your birth child.

What Should I Tell My Child in an Adoption Letter?

You can consider various topics when thinking about how to write a letter to your birth child. You may want to tell your child a little bit about their family history, if you feel they’re interested in knowing more about it. Your child may also want to know more about you personally, considering you are their birth mother, after all. Information about yourself can include a lot of things, such as what you do for a living or what you’ve been up to recently. Consider including some of the things that interest you as well, if you feel it’s appropriate.

One important rule of thumb to keep in mind is that a positive letter is always best to send. Talking about the adoption itself can seem difficult from some perspectives, but you should consider including it nonetheless. It doesn’t have to be an uncomfortable, untouchable topic; rather, you can speak truthfully and openly about how the adoption process personally affects you and your life. It’s important to remember to stay positive here as the topic can certainly be emotional, but talking about the adoption itself is a valuable outlet and an important connection to make with your child.

How can I Send My Birth Child a Letter?

There are a few ways you can do this. If you’re looking for a more personal option, sending a physical, handwritten letter will show your child how much you care. Some adoption agencies, including Adoption Choices of Arizona, can handle the delivery of the letter to the adoptive family for you through a secure and private portal online called ChildConnect. If you’re looking for more information about us specifically, feel free to check in with your adoption caseworker, who will provide you with the information you need. In some cases, with the growing presence of technology in our lives, sending a letter or message may take the form of an e-mail or social media post. Virtual communication is becoming more common over time in situations like these, and will depend on what you and your adoptive family prefer.

When sending a physical letter, it’s also customary to include a photograph of yourself, so your child knows what you look like. This is an excellent little personal touch that goes a long way. Including a picture of yourself also establishes a sense of connection with your child and ingrains a more robust image of you in their mind. So, it is highly recommended you include this!

How to Write a Letter to Your Birth Child

There are a lot of individual ideas to keep in mind when writing a letter to your child, but to keep it simple, you should have a positive attitude and be open about how you feel without alienating your child. Don’t be afraid to talk about the adoption, but do so in a healthy manner. In most cases, you should consider writing a physical letter, and including a photograph of yourself is a good thing. All of these are great pointers for when you finally sit down to write that letter to your birth child.

For Adoption Choices of Arizona, helping you figure out every step of the adoption process is what we do best. Although it may not be the most pressing issue we can help you with, learning how to write a letter to your birth child is still very important, and creating a lasting relationship in an open adoption is no small task. We’re here to help, and hopefully, you feel a little more knowledgeable about how to write a letter to your birth child.

For adoption resources or to begin your adoption journey, birth parents can visit us at Adoption Choices of Arizona or call or text us at 1-480-900-5520. If you are an prospective adoptive family hoping to adopt a baby, please instead, visit us here!

Meet the AuthorJosh Drogemuller is a Senior at Grand Valley State University and has interests in writing and digital studies. A relative newcomer to the field of professional writing, Josh has spent the last eight years of his educational career honing his skills on the page. Josh is currently working towards a Bachelor of Science in Writing. 

Living in the Midwest, Josh looks forward to long baseball games and longer sentences.