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5 Fears Birth Mothers Have About Open Adoption

By Ryan Yau

If you are a pregnant woman considering your options, you should be aware of open adoption. An open adoption is a type of adoption that allows the birth mother to keep in contact with their child. If you chose an open adoption, you could visit your child’s adoptive family.

However, you may have some concerns about whether you should go for an open adoption or not. Though what type of adoption you choose is personal, Adoption Choices of Arizona can help by clearing up any misconceptions.

What are the Alternatives to Open Adoption?

Open adoption is only one type of adoption. As there are many types of adoption that can fit your needs, it’s good to understand what your options are. Depending on how much contact you want with your child, you can also opt for a semi-open or a closed adoption.

In a semi-open adoption, you do not have the adoptive family’s contact information but receive updates from your adoption agency. In a closed adoption, you will not receive any contact information or updates and will be unable to visit your child. 

Will My Child Want Me in Their Life?

You may fear that your child may resent you for placing them with an adoptive family. However, this fear is not actually representative of reality. Birth mothers who place their children for adoption are often unfairly stigmatized for being lazy or selfish. This is in part due to media portrayals of adoption, where birth mothers are often depicted as such.

However, adoption is ultimately a selfless act. By admitting that you are unable to raise a child at the moment, you make the best choice for your child. You also give the gift of parenthood to others, some of whom may be unable to have their own children.

By acknowledging that adoption is not inherently lazy or selfish, you can understand that your child will not resent you for it. Especially if you plan to visit them and be a part of their life, you should not worry about this.

Will I Grow Too Attached to My Child After Placing Them for Adoption?

Another common fear is that you might become too attached to your child and may regret the choice to place them for adoption. Of course, pregnancy creates a strong bond between mother and child, so it’s likely you feel some sort of attachment. Some mothers do experience a form of birth mother grief, which results from separating from their baby. 

So it is reasonable to worry about becoming too attached, but there are ways to make things easier. If this is one of your primary worries, open adoption is likely the best type of adoption for you. Being able to visit your child after placing them for adoption can help lessen your grief from separation.

Will My Child Be Worse Off With an Adoptive Family?

Choosing what to do with your baby is an important decision, so naturally, you want to know where they will end up. You may have concerns about your child being worse off after adoption or being placed in a bad household. However, Adoption Choices of Arizona screens any prospective adoptive families for your child.

Families are screened to ensure that they can be loving and caring environments for a child to grow up. Furthermore, we will make sure adoptive parents have the financial stability to raise a child. You can rest assured that your local adoption agency will make sure your child is in good hands.

Will My Child’s Adoptive Parents Allow Me to Remain in My Child’s Life?

You may be concerned that the adoptive parents will not be happy about you remaining in your child’s life. Of course, once you place your child for adoption, the adoptive parents legally and effectively become your child’s parents. However, you can have a positive relationship with your child’s new parents.

In an open adoption, you have more control when it comes to choosing adoptive parents for your child. You would be able to meet them prior to discussing your needs as a birth mother. This would include how much you want to be involved with your child.

Will I Have to Go Through the Adoption process alone?

The adoption process may seem like a lot, but you won’t need to do everything alone. We can provide you with the services of an adoption specialist who is trained to help with all your needs. They can help you create an adoption plan that will cover all your bases for adoption. This includes any medical needs you anticipate or financial services you require, as well as additional services like counseling.

If you are an expectant mother and looking into open adoption, contact Adoption Choices of Arizona.