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Serving Expectant Parents Statewide With Offices located in:
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Dating After Adoption in Arizona

By Kelly Paczkowski

While dating after putting a child up for adoption can seem frightening, it can also be freeing. You might feel scared of being judged or that the person you are dating will not be understanding, and that is normal. Dating after placing a child for adoption is very common, and you should not be scared. Although bringing up the subject should be to someone you feel you can trust. You should not just blurt it out right away. Get to know them and get comfortable first. 

If you need adoption help now, please call or text us at 1-480-900-5520 or visit us at Adoption Choices of Arizona.

Should I tell the person I am dating about placing my baby for adoption in Arizona?

Of course, you should tell your partner about your adoption plan for you and your baby. Honesty is important for a relationship, and you want to build your relationship with trust. Being honest about placing your baby for adoption is an important piece of your life that you want to share and be truthful about. You might feel ashamed about it, but you have nothing to be ashamed of. Placing your baby for adoption is a brave and selfless act. No one wants to hide parts of themselves from the person they see.

When is the right time to tell a future partner about my adoption journey?

There is never a right or wrong time to discuss adoption with someone you are starting to see. Of course, you may not want to blurt it out at the first meeting. While you want to tell them sooner rather than later, you may want to wait for a few dates. Building a relationship based on honesty is very important.  

Will my partner understand my choice of adoption?

They may or may not. Adoption is very common nowadays, and it seems that many people understand the hows and the whys. However, there are still a few stigmas about placing a baby for adoption, and that person may not understand. Just be aware that bringing up the subject might surprise them and allow them time to process what you placing a child for adoption might mean. Especially if you choose an open adoption, they may have to come to terms with possibly communicating with the adoptive family. So try to be patient with them. If they have an unfavorable reaction to you placing your child for adoption, you may want to reconsider getting into a relationship with them. If it is something they don’t agree with or treat you differently for, that could be a red flag for your relationship.

Either way, your partner will have to come to terms that you had previously placed your baby for adoption. How they react and their feelings about it are totally up to them. You have no control over their reaction, but you can be there to help them understand. Answer the questions they have about the process. Some of them might not know anyone who has undergone an adoption journey and might need some time to comprehend what it means.

Sitting down to talk about my decision for adoption

You may want to write down what you want to say to your partner. It will help you practice how and what you want to say. Be prepared to answer some questions from your partner. These questions could be easy, or they may require you to dig a little deeper. Just be aware that these questions might bring up past emotions if you have not truly healed yourself. Above anything else, being open and honest is the best thing. They know that you are not trying to hide it from them, and they will feel more comfortable with it as time passes.  

How Adoption Choices of Arizona Helped Me

If you need advice on approaching the subject with a partner or even another family member, Adoption Choices of Arizona is here to help. Our adoption specialists understand the process and can guide you through those tough discussions. For adoption resources or to begin your adoption journey, birth parents can visit us at Adoption Choices of Arizona or call or text us at 1-480-900-5520. If you are a prospective adoptive family hoping to adopt a baby, please, instead, visit us here!