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Counseling After Putting a Baby for Adoption

By Cale Unitas Macke

Putting up your child for adoption is a strenuous and challenging process. There are, however, local adoption agencies in Arizona, like Adoption Choices of Arizona, that provide resources for women looking for support. 

There are, of course, numerous reasons why it would make sense to place your baby for adoption, from unexpected pregnancies to better quality of life for the child to just plain old bad timing. Whatever the reason may be, It is okay. It may not always feel that way, and you may have second thoughts, but there are countless women just like you who struggle with their decision—you are not alone and don’t have to cope alone. There are tons of great local resources at your disposal, like counseling and adoption support groups.

Why Child Adoption Can Be Complicated And Why You Have No Cause To Be Afraid

Child adoption is a complicated process, with many tough decisions that often leaves you questioning yourself and doubting the choices you made. Whatever conclusion you arrive at, know that you made the best choice for you and the child, however difficult it may be. If you are having trouble accepting your decision or experiencing guilt, first of all, don’t be so hard on yourself—you did what you thought was best.

Second, remember that there is plenty of support for you—such as birth mother support groups and Adoption Choices of Arizona’s numerous resources (both of which are outlined further below).

And last but certainly not least, remember that life is by no means over after you finalize an adoption. Even if you decide that you want a family after having gone through the adoption process, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Child Adoption And The Feelings Afterward

We know how difficult this time in your life can be and that the aftermath can be equally devastating. It can lead to an onslaught of negative things, like:

  • high levels of stress
  • bouts of sadness
  • self-doubt
  • dejectedness, etc.

These are all perfectly normal and, once addressed, can be eased or alleviated altogether. Two healthy and beneficial lines of support are found in birth mother support groups and adoption counseling.

Both avenues offer innumerable resources and benefits for both short-term and long-term goals. However, there can (and should) also be some positive feelings as well: you just helped someone start a family after all! This may be harder to see or feel immediately, but remembering that you gave the gift of life to someone’s family should make you immensely proud, and rightfully so.

It is equally important to discuss and share these positive feelings. This is another great benefit of a support group: it gives you the ability to spread positivity, share your wins, and encourage other birth mothers to view their choices in a brighter light.

So, What’s The Point Of A Support Group And How Would It Help You?

Birth mother support groups give you the ability to share your experience and learn from those who have gone through what you’ve gone through, all in a safe, collaborative space. You can ask questions about their situation and how they overcame their difficulties, learn best practices of acceptance, encourage one another, and generally receive heaps of advice wherever needed. It may sound incredibly simple, but often the best advice is.

Connecting with like-minded individuals can bring you peace of mind and acceptance of your decision while allowing you to focus on the positives rather than the negatives. It opens up an avenue for you to freely discuss any and all things you’re going through, which can be extremely difficult otherwise. But most importantly, it grants you access to a community of advocates.

More Adoption Support Services, Resources, & Information

There are other post-adoption services and resources at your disposal as well. Adoption Choices of Arizona has extensive information for your reference, including:

  • information on unplanned pregnancy and exploring your various options 
  • information on the overall adoption process and best practices
  • financial assistance and local resources for pregnant women in your area
  • adoption myths
  • birth father FAQs
  • drug use during pregnancy information

Although these topics may not align exactly with what you’re going through, they should provide excellent additional context and better help you on your journey.

Summary Of Child Adoption And Why Utilizing Resources Is Important

Going through the adoption process, on either end, is an exhausting and mentally demanding process. Keeping in mind that there are several resources—local and otherwise—for you to take advantage of will allow you to breathe easier and not go at it alone. Try utilizing an adoption support group in your community or other related services. It could be extremely helpful—mentally and emotionally—and even has the ability to be life-altering.

Placing a baby for adoption can feel alienating and lead to sadness, but it can also be uplifting and a source of pride. Adoption Choices of Arizona is a local, private adoption agency that has assisted children, birth parents, and adoptive parents through the adoption journey. If you are a woman considering adoption or seeking information on the adoption process, local resources, or help with unplanned pregnancies, please visit Adoption Choices of Arizona for all the above resources and more.