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Choosing Adoption, and the Feelings that Follow

By Megan Kostraba

What is adoption, exactly? It can seem like a scary, unknown process—especially with so much information to find online. There’s a lot to take in! 

Essentially, adoption is for expectant mothers who had or are going through an unplanned pregnancy. If you are in this situation, you have three options: choosing to parent the child, terminate the pregnancy, or placing your baby up for adoption. Adoption can be a big hurdle to jump, but it is something to consider if you cannot parent the child and do not want to terminate the pregnancy. 

Overall, adoption offers a chance for another family to raise your child, giving them possibilities and opportunities you may not be able to. Adoption is a wonderful option, but it can be a difficult pill to swallow. You may feel guilty about placing your child up for adoption, regret your decision, or feel like you’ve given up. Choosing adoption means understanding that you may have these thoughts and feelings but also recognizing that it’s the best decision for you and your child. Our adoption agencies in Arizona can help you with these emotions—before, during, and after your pregnancy. 

Will I Regret My Decision to Place My Child Up for Adoption? 

Adoption is a very personal process. Before you make the choice, you want to consider all of your options. It’s important to know that there is no “right” or “wrong” reason to choose adoption—all of your reasons will be unique compared to another’s adoption experience. Common reasons why people choose adoption include not being prepared to become a parent, financial imbalance, a disapproving or non-supportive family, or personal health. You may also have certain goals that you have been working towards and wish to achieve. Having a baby could interrupt those current and future goals. 

Whatever your reasons are, know that choosing adoption is not a selfish act—you have to trust your instincts and remind yourself that they come from a loving place. While not everyone in your life may agree with your choice, you have to do what is best for you! 

Choosing Adoption in Arizona

When you do make your choice, however, you want to be sure about it. There is a limited time frame in which you can change your mind about the decision to adopt. You can change your mind until you sign the consent form, which typically reaches 72 hours post-birth. It’s normal and understandable to struggle with your choice and not feel 100% about adoption. However, you have to be conscious not to move forward with becoming a new parent if you’re only somewhat unsure about your new choice. 

Adoption can be the hardest choice, but it also can be the best choice you’ve ever made. Post-birth can be an overwhelming, all-consuming experience. Your emotions are running rampant, and you’re holding your newborn child in your arms. Understandably, it can be very confusing, and you may start to regret your choice about adoption. With them in your arms, you may start to see and feel the life you could have—the life you could create together. Or, for some birth mothers, the grief might hit them post-placement. While the child has not been lost, your role in their life is, and it’s okay to grieve that too. 

Choosing adoption is also understanding that you will feel loss and you will feel grief, but you will also heal. Many expectant mothers who have experienced an unplanned pregnancy have gone on to understand that adoption was the best choice they made. Getting there, however, takes time to heal. Adoption agencies are there to help you with this process. Our adoption agencies in Arizona understand what you are going through and will guide you through it. 

Working with An Agency Near You: How Can We Help With Your Grief? 

Choosing to work with an agency for your adoption is the best way to get through all the steps that are about to occur in your life. Adoption agencies can help you create your adoption plan, as well as explain how the adoption process is structured. Working with an agency also ensures that you will be surrounded by a team of professionals and specialists who can guide you and provide pregnancy help

Adoption Choices of Arizona have many adoption agencies near you, so start your journey by reaching out to us! 

When it comes down to feeling regret after your adoption, we can’t guarantee that you won’t have conflicting feelings about your choice. What we can do, however, is help you make it through those feelings and feel confident about your choice. We have counselors available to help you during every stage of your unplanned pregnancy because we understand that sorting out your feelings can be incredibly difficult. Many mothers who made the choice to adopt miss their children post-birth. This is normal, and so is feeling some regret. 

You have to remember that if you have truly thought about your choice and you believe that it is the best choice for you and your child, you have done all you can do. If you’ve thought it over with your child’s best interests at heart, it is unlikely that you will regret your decision to adoption. 

Placing your baby up for adoption means that you have to accept all of the feelings you are about to face, as well as the fact that healing takes time. Adoption Choices of Arizona can help you with this, but you have to take that first step and accept the healing process.