What Adoption Can Mean in the New Year
By Moki Murillo
The new year can be a fresh start, a chance to look ahead and nurture new passions. If you are going into that new year with an unplanned pregnancy, however, maintaining that optimism can be difficult. For many, an unexpected event like this can feel like the end of future plans. Of course, this perception is not without merit as raising a child is a life-changing responsibility. Despite these harsh truths, a sudden pregnancy does not have to be the end of the world.
If you are unable to raise the child, you can instead place your baby for adoption. While placing your baby for adoption may seem heartless, it is anything but. Raising children is costly in terms of both money and time. If you can’t realistically meet those obligations, then as the birth mother, you have the right to consider adoption. After all, your child deserves to grow up in a stable environment with opportunities, such as a good education.
Thankfully, there are many adoption opportunities in the state of Arizona. Our agency, Adoption Choices of Arizona, happens to be your best option in adoption. We facilitate private adoptions in Arizona. While “private adoptions” sound costly or exclusive, this just means that we are independent from state institutions. Our adoption services are always free to birth mothers. We also use our independence to allow birth mothers to have control in the adoption process.
How to Start the Adoption Process
To begin the adoption process with us, you should call us via the number on our website. Once you confirm your decision to adopt with our representative, you will be connected to an adoption specialist. Your specialist will help you form an adoption plan, which customizes your adoption based on your wants and needs. One aspect of the adoption that you control is the openness of your child’s adoption. You can choose to maintain contact with the adoptive family after placement (an open adoption). Alternatively, you can also choose to not have any contact after adoption (a closed adoption) should you wish. If you choose to pursue an open adoption, you can even choose which family gets to adopt your baby.
Your adoption plan can also provide you with services and resources meant to support you through pregnancy. Our adoption agencies in Arizona understand that pregnancy can take a toll on a birth mother’s finances and health. As such, we can cover any reasonable living and medical expenses, such as groceries and prenatal care. We also offer mental health services, such as therapy and support groups, for free. However, what services are available to you will depend on your circumstances. A single birth mother living alone needs more help than one being supported by their parents, after all.
Moving Forward With Open Adoption
Choosing adoption doesn’t mean that your child is no longer part of your future. If you pursue an open adoption, then you can maintain contact with your child. Most birth mothers choose this adoption type for this reason. The adoptive parents, however, have the final say on how frequent this contact is and what form it takes. Your personal visits may only be permitted during the holidays, or texts may be limited to twice a month. While these limitations can be frustrating, respecting the adoptive parents’ needs is crucial for this arrangement to work. That might mean you have to make compromises and give the adoptive family the space they need. However, as this is a negotiation, you still have the power to put forth your own wants and needs.
Getting through these initial hurdles is worth it in the end. While this arrangement is not the same as traditional parenting, you will still have a connection with your child. Although the new year means the end of past trappings, your connection with yours doesn’t have to be discarded. It is possible to move forward with your life without letting go of your child. Many other birth mothers have managed to do so after all.
Self-Care Resources From Our Adoption Agencies
Of course, you don’t have to embark on your journey of self-care on your own. As stated before, our agency is committed to supporting our birth mothers through the adoption process and beyond. You should take advantage of our mental health resources during the pregnancy phase. After all, negative feelings, such as anxiety and guilt, are often exacerbated by pregnancy hormones. You should also continue using these services post-placement as conditions, such as postpartum depression, can also exacerbate negative feelings. Adoption Choices of Arizona will continue covering your expenses, including mental health services, for six weeks after placement. You can even arrange to have more long-term support. We cannot stress enough the importance of considering your mental health. If left unattended, the stresses of pregnancy and adoption can lead to lasting trauma.
Joining Support Groups During and After the Adoption Process
Another way to practice self-care is to join our support groups. Self-isolation is harmful to a birth mother’s mental health. You can, of course, lean on your existing support network for this purpose. The company of friends and family can do wonders for one’s mental health. If you don’t have that, however, you can make one by joining one of our support groups. While we can’t guarantee that you’ll make friends, you will at least be around birth mothers with similar struggles. You should also seek help from multiple sources, combining therapy with your support networks. As the birth mother, you deserve to enter the new year with a clear and refreshed mind.
Planning Your Life After Adoption
While Adoption Choices of Arizona is committed to supporting all our birth mothers, we can’t do it all alone. If you want to move forward with adoption into the new year, the change needs to begin with you. An important early step would be to envision what your future will be after adoption. You can go about this in many ways, but what’s important is that you set goals for yourself. Do you have any resolutions for the new year? Is there a job or vocation that you want to pursue? What ambitions do you have that you want to fulfill? How do you plan to reach these goals? Whatever they are, you should keep these goals in mind with the intention of completing them. You should remember that life will continue after adoption, and you have the right to enrich that life.
Of course, you should continue practicing self-care during this journey. Life will continue to be complicated. What matters is that you find new opportunities for personal growth, both in this new year and after. For birth mothers, this often begins with adoption. While placing your child in another family can be painful, adoption can be the start of a new life. It can be a time to reevaluate your priorities and start building toward a life worth living. This can even include a family with children when you are ready.