What If I Don’t Want Support Throughout the Adoption Process?

By Megan Kostraba

The adoption process is a very personal one. Some birth mothers know exactly what they want when considering to place their baby for adoption, and others are new to the experience. Adoption agencies, like Adoption Choices of Arizona, offer various services to help each birth mothers and her specific needs. 

Some birth mothers might find that they do not want the extra support from their adoption agency. For example, besides our general adoption help, we also offer services for birth mothers that can include:

• Financial assistance
• Housing and transportation
• Medical care
• Counseling services

Choosing to accept and seek some of these services is something entirely up to the birth mother! Some birth mothers wish to go through their adoption process without any of these services. Let’s explore what that might look like. 

Independency During Your Adoption 

We understand the need to feel independent when choosing adoption. Unplanned pregnancies are scary and can feel uncontrollable! Choosing adoption might be your choice, but it might also be something you feel like you have to do. Unplanned pregnancies happen often, and they happen to women all over the world. Whether motherhood is something you want to experience or not, women choose adoption for many different reasons. Financial issues, medical concerns, unsupportive family members—the list goes on. Regardless of your reason, you might feel frustrated knowing that you can’t control the situation. We get it. 

You may want to feel in control of every aspect of your adoption. That can mean choosing to avoid some of the services adoption agencies can offer. Some birth mothers choose to do this also because we all have a tendency to feel like a bother. If this is the case, know that our adoption agencies in Arizona are there for the purpose of helping you! Your needs are our priorities, so never feel like a bother! 

We will always respect our birth mothers for choosing to be independent and self-reliant. Figuring out your needs and wishes is all a part of the adoption process. We know that everyone experiences adoption in a unique way. 

What Can You Expect When Choosing Independence During Your Adoption? 

There is no right or wrong way to go through your adoption process. This is something we want to reiterate to any birth mothers considering their options! The options you choose are personal to you, and as an adoption agency, we will always respect that. 

You can, however, expect some challenges along the road when choosing to be more independent. At our adoption agencies in Arizona, we offer a number of services. 

• Financial help for before, during, and after your pregnancy. 
• Housing assistance: we can process your situation and place you somewhere safe.  
• Medical care: we can help you find assistance in paying medical bills.  
• Transportation: your adoption counselor will help you with transportation to and from your doctors and for prescriptions.  
  • We can arrange transportation for your pregnancy needs!
• Support counseling: an adoption counselor will be by your side to provide comfort and emotional support to help you express your emotions.

You can definitely choose to omit these services if that is your preference. It can, however, be challenging to go forward without extra help from your adoption team. Services like these are available to help you throughout your adoption. Choosing to avoid them might mean some extra hardship on yourself. Adoption is a tough process that requires healing and care, and we don’t want you to neglect your own needs.

We especially know how hard it can be to process your feelings and emotions after the adoption is completed. If not with your adoption agency, we do recommend seeking postpartum care for yourself. Not only have you just delivered a child, but you also might be experiencing feelings of grief, guilt, or regret. These feelings can be hard to express. Postpartum care is essential for a birth mother to understand what her body and mind just went through. 

Independent Adoption Today 

Placing your baby up for adoption is an individual and private matter. All birth mothers are different, and the way you conduct your adoption is up to you! It is our job as an adoption agency to support you in that choice. That being said, be aware of the services your adoption agency can provide and think about utilizing them. If so, that’s great! If not, that’s also great! Your adoption is up to you, and there are benefits and downsides to both options.

If you are looking for unplanned pregnancy help, you can reach out to one of our agencies in Arizona. We are here to help you!