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Life for Birth Parents After Adoption

By Isabelle Sitchon

Adoption is one of the most selfless and responsible decisions that a birth parent can make. Doing this gives your child a chance at a new life with their new adoptive family. For many, it’s a beautiful and life-changing experience to see their baby welcomed into loving arms. As a birth mother/parent, you might be ready to go through the motions of the adoption process. You may have already made an adoption plan and are looking through family profiles. However, it’s possible that you’re wondering what life for birth parents after adoption will be like.

At our adoption agencies in Arizona, we want you to know that worrying about your well-being after your journey is normal–and it’s important. Although your walk through your adoption can be one of your most meaningful decisions in life, it can also be extremely intense. Knowing this, we encourage birth mothers/parents going through the adoption process to prepare for your healing after putting your child up for adoption. We’ll guide you through some ways to cope with your emotions after the journey has ended.

If you need adoption help now, please call or text us at 1-480-900-5520 or visit us at Adoption Choices of Arizona.

Knowing Your Feelings About Adoption Before Processing Them

An important part of the healing process after an adoption is recognizing what you’ve gone through and the feelings that come from it. You’ve put in a lot of love, time, and effort in the adoption process, making choices for your baby’s future. Responsibilities like making an adoption plan, choosing an adoptive family, developing a birth plan, and sorting out legal processes–you’ve done it all as a birth parent. The decisions you’ve made in the process lead to your child being loved into an accepting family.

However, all of these responsibilities are difficult and could take a toll on your mental health. Unfortunately, this is quite common, as many birth mothers find it hard to return to their normal life after adoption. To continue in your healing journey, we want you to know what sort of feelings you may encounter post-placement:

  • Guilt and Regret. After adoption, it’s possible that you may feel guilty or regretful about your decision. Some birth parents often feel like they could have done more for their child. However, you shouldn’t forget your reasons for choosing adoption. Deciding to place your baby for adoption when you know you cannot be the best parent to them right now is a choice that you’ve thought long and hard about. You’ve decided on it with lots of love and consideration for your child’s well-being. 
  • Depression and Anxiety. Sometimes, those feelings of guilt and regret can turn into something more serious, like depression and anxiety. You may feel Postpartum Depression (PPD) symptoms, which can include thoughts of suicide, mood swings of intense irritability, and detrimental effects on your physical health. While it usually lasts a couple of weeks, it differs for each birth mother/parent. 

We encourage you to take time to think about what you’re feeling. You might not be experiencing guilt or regret, but you may feel a deep sadness or grief afterward. Accepting those feelings can help you in your healing journey. 

Finding a Support System After an Adoption

Finding an outlet of support may be helpful when going through the motions post-adoption. Don’t be afraid to reach out to friends and family who will support you in this difficult time. Communicating your feelings to them can help you grasp an understanding of what you’ve gone through and process your emotions. Other support systems include support or counseling groups; some can even be found online. There are many other birth parents/mothers out there who are experiencing the same challenging emotions as you. Your support system can be an important part of your journey in healing post-adoption.

Seeking Counseling as a Birth Mother Post-Adoption

If you find it hard to go back to your normal routines, it may be beneficial to seek counseling. Placing your baby for adoption can be a life-changing decision, but that doesn’t mean your life stops after it. You’ve done a lot for your baby, and now it’s time to take care of yourself. 

Our adoption agencies in Arizona offer counseling services to birth mothers after their adoption is finalized. With counseling, you can find ways to deal with your emotions and process your experience healthily. 

Life after adoption can be a difficult and stressful time. However, there are many resources for birth parents to seek help. Adoption Choices of Arizona offers many supportive services to birth mothers during and after adoption. For adoption resources or to begin your adoption journey, birth parents can visit us at Adoption Choices of Arizona or call or text us at 1-480-900-5520. If you are a prospective adoptive family hoping to adopt a baby, please instead visit us here!

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