I’m pregnant, and I don’t want the baby, I’m not excited, and that’s okay
Unplanned pregnancy causes a wreck of emotions for you, with different emotions coming from each birth mother. Birth mothers in some cases, including yourself, can face a lack of enthusiasm when finding out you are pregnant which is usually an exciting moment for mothers. The reasons are unknown sometimes, but most of the time, it is because the pregnancy was unplanned. Also, your current predicament in your life can be stressful and the unwanted baby adds more tension.
Adoption Choices of Arizona would like to tell you that you are fine and our agency supports you in Arizona or statewide.
What are my options as a birth mother when unexpectedly pregnant with no support?
An unwanted pregnancy is when you become pregnant with your unborn child, but it was not intended by you or the birth father. Unintentional pregnancies are common amongst birth mothers that affect women every day. Unfortunately, this causes you to think of different options to take with the unborn child.
In the midst of such a process, you are sometimes weighing and dealing with certain issues in your own life. Being that you may be single and have no knowledge who the birth father is of your child resulting in you becoming a single mother. Another is that you do know who the birth father is of your child, but he has opted out and left the weight of being a single parent on your shoulders. Or the relationship between you and the birth father is toxic, resulting in the unborn child possibly being raised in an unhealthy environment.
There can be thousands of scenarios that you are going through and making you range through questions within your head. One of the main questions being, how will you raise the child alone without funds, the birth father, or more?
During such a question, you will never have a direct answer due to you being the only possible provider for the child.
In that instance, you have to weigh options about what you can do for the child, one being you raising the child and overcoming the self-doubt you have. Though you will need to know there may be hardships even with sufficient funds due to time, attention, and more of the unborn needs.
The other option is abortion which can be physically and mentally detrimental for you due to the process and the meaning of it. Abortions are a procedure used to terminate an unborn child while still within the birth mother’s womb. Many birth mothers are shamed for such an action, though here at Adoption Choices of Arizona, we never judge or humiliate you based upon your decisions, only support.
Then there is adoption, a thorough process that involves the system in which you put your child up for adoption. Then that child is taken in by a couple or a single parent that will be legally responsible for them and become their parents, even though they are not biologically related. This process may be different from abortions but can have a mental effect on you just as much.
Across states, there are different adoption agencies that can support you and the adoptive parents. But, here at Adoption Choices of Arizona, we are a private local adoption agency. We provide an abundance of services and support to children, birth mothers or birth parents, and adoptive parents or single parents. During the affairs of adoption, we are there during the whole journey.
I have no connection with the unborn child I am currently pregnant with. Why am I feeling depressed about this notion though I am putting my child up for adoption?
It is understandable if you feel there is no connection between you and your unborn child. Emotions are a unique part of pregnancy that is different with every mother regardless of if she is raising the child or putting the child up for adoption. Adoption Choices of Arizona doesn’t want you to feel guilty about your lack of attachment to your baby.
Take into account if you feel down about not feeling connected with your child, you have a connection with the child, but the realization hasn’t set in. If you were not connected to your child, you wouldn’t feel such negative emotions or guilt.
Though if it seems you are suffering from a lack of connection and would like to connect with the unborn child, there are multiple ways you can. Simple ones would be talking to the baby. Often studies have proven talking to the unborn child does help build a bond between the baby and you. Another is responding back to your baby’s kicks with a general press of your palm within the same spot. More would be taking photos as your body transforms. It can be used as memories and help you notice the change in your body and baby. There are more connection techniques that can be taken into account, but these are immediate short term ones you can do.
If you feel depressed or stressed mentally, Adoption Choices of Arizona can or can give resources to different locations for help immediately. At our private agency we have professional counselors that we provide and can help you before and after the adoption process
After my baby is born, I don’t want any contact in order to avoid guilt and extensive emotions. What adoption plan can I choose?
Adoption Choices of Arizona, we make sure to provide you with necessary adoption plans information. If you don’t want any contact, you are able to pick two out of the three available adoption plans. Which are:
- Semi-Open Adoption: A type of adoption where communication between the adoptive parents and you are done through a facilitator. It happens in order to keep identities protected from each party. Though you are able to choose the adoptive family, you would like to raise your unborn child. When the baby is born, there is no longer any contact between the adoptive parents, you, or the baby who legally is in the custody of his/her adoptive parents.
- Closed Adoption: A form of adoption where you and the adoptive parents’ communication is limited or none at all. Information is not shared between the two parties though you have the option to choose the adoptive parents you would like to raise your baby. After the baby is placed within the custody of the adoptive parents or single parent, contact is then terminated.
- Open Adoption: A particular form of adoption when communication would be established between you and the adoptive or single parents. You are given different parent profiles to choose from with information provided on said family to adopt your baby. During your pregnancy you develop a relationship with the adoptive parents you chose. When the unborn child is born then given to the adoptive parents you shall still have a relationship and communication with the family. We understand that you would rather not have communication with the family or baby, but this adoption choice is for you if you were to change your mind.
This is a safe and understandable plan from your perspective to protect yourself and the baby.
Here at, Adoption Choices of Arizona we are a private adoption agency found in 2011 providing our services locally to the residents of Arizona. Though we still assist citizens statewide with answers to questions asked through our website. Never hesitate to call, text, or email us. We are glad to help and build families!
For adoption resources or to begin your adoption journey, birth parents can visit us at Adoption Choices of Arizona or call or text us at 1-480-900-5520. If you are a prospective adoptive family hoping to adopt a baby, please instead, visit us here!
Meet the Author: Imani Agbionu is a recent graduate from George Mason University, earning her Bachelor of Science in Marketing. With a history in writing for her former university’s online publication, Her Campus, she aspires to become a successful journalist who can provide for herself and her family. She is from Washington, DC, where she has lived her whole life, but one day wants to move to experience and call another state home. Her mother is from Washington, DC, and her father is from Nigeria, part of the Igbo tribe. As an introvert, she loves streaming platforms, with her favorites being HBO Max, Netflix, and Disney+. Unfortunately, she can’t pick one due to all playing a vital role in her life on a daily basis. She enjoys reading, with her favorite book being The Shining by Stephen King, which she sees as unusual since she is a fearful person that avoids horror at all costs. Listening to music is a vital mechanism that helps her stay calm and deal with her anxiety at times.
As an inspiring Journalist, she likes to write about a plethora of topics that some may look at as controversial, but she believes in staying true to herself. She doesn’t mind having conversations with people as long as opinions are being respected.