Adjusting to Life After Adoption in Arizona
Adoption, like so many major events in your life, is like a marathon. You prepare and work towards it for a period of time, eventually crossing the finish line in a flurry of excitement, only to be left wondering, “Now what?” After planning for adoption for so long, its conclusion can come as rather jarring to many birth parents who are suddenly faced with the expectation to resume their child-free lives. For others, the conclusion of the adoption process can mean a period of grief and distress as they mourn the loss of their child. Regardless of which category you currently fit into or anticipate experiencing down the line, here at Adoption Choices of Arizona, we want to provide you the peace of mind and comfort of knowing that you are not alone in how you feel.
How To Re-Acclimate to Life After Putting Your Child Up For Adoption
As with any instance of sudden change, re-acclimating to your normal routine after adoption can seem downright impossible. After months of an unplanned pregnancy and adoption planning, your former lifestyle may seem eons in the past. The two key elements of adjusting to post-adoption life are acknowledgment and engaging in past and new hobbies.
Acknowledgment: It is important for every birth parent to acknowledge the value of the lessons and experiences that adoption provides them. While it may feel for some that adoption was an obstacle to their success, this is simply not the case. Instead, it is a stepping stone or learning opportunity that you can use in your daily, readjusted life. At Adoption Choices of Arizona, our team of adoption experts will give you tools to handle the logistics and emotions of adoption, which can be applied to other areas of your life. For example, the care that you show towards your child by choosing adoption should not be taken for granted. Many birth parents find that they feel that they are overall more compassionate and caring people post-adoption. Engaging with adoptive parents and adoption specialists of all different backgrounds provides interconnection and communication skills that can be carried into your professional and personal lives after adoption. No matter your individual experience, adoption provides you with skills and assets you can carry with you throughout your entire life.
Engaging in Hobbies: Re-engaging in past hobbies is also crucial to properly re-acclimate to your life after adoption. Balancing jobs, socialization, and adoption can leave little to no time for pastimes and fun for many birth parents. This is why once your schedule is free of adoption-related conflicts, it is important to re-engage with those things that you had to put on hold. Whether this is knitting or meeting friends for dinner each weekend, now is your chance to get back into it. And who knows, maybe along the adoption path, you discovered a new hobby that you can really explore. The important thing is to remember to use your newfound free time for a little fun!
What If I Am Struggling With The Loss Of My Child After Adoption?
As mentioned, putting a child up for adoption is an emotional time filled with great highs and potentially difficult lows. After placing their child with an adoptive family, some birth parents may be filled with a sense of grief or loss. This is completely natural and valid. To combat this, it is important to reflect and seek support.
Reflection: When dealing with the negative emotions of losing your child, you may be inclined to cast a shadow on the experience as a whole. However, you must refrain from doing this and instead take time to reflect on it all. In reflecting, feel free to answer these questions aloud, with your partner, or in writing:
- Why did I choose adoption?
- Will this adoption allow my child and I to both lead bright futures?
- How does the type of adoption I chose (open, semi-open, or closed) allow me to be a part of my child’s life?
- What did I learn from this process that can help me in my future? (see above for some examples)
- What attributes of the adoptive family am I most excited for my child to experience? What aspects of their lives and personalities did I enjoy?
In addition to doing this exercise in outward reflection, it is also beneficial to reflect inwardly through the use of affirmations. To your partner or a mirror, repeat, “I love my child and did what was best for them,” and similar sentiments to ensure that you realize the love and care that you demonstrated through putting your child up for adoption. You know how much you care, and chances are your child will too.
Seek Support: Dealing with the loss of your child is not something you should be expected to handle alone. Look to your partner or trusted immediate family and friends for love and support. Explain to them how you feel and allow them to comfort you in any way they are equipped. Adoption Choices of Arizona is also proud to offer free professional emotional support and counseling to any birth parents in need of it. Remember that you are not alone in your thoughts or experience. There are hundreds of parents just like you who feel the same sorrow. Remember that birth parents before you have gotten through this time, and you will too.
How Adoption Choices of Arizona Can Help You Adjust to Life After Adoption
At Adoption Choices of Arizona, our team is here to provide all the warmth and resources needed to help you feel better about the adoption and readjusting to life after it. Whether this is through the mentioned professional care or simply chatting with our staff, we want to ensure that you feel supported even after your child’s adoption. We understand that adoption doesn’t end with the placement, so our work doesn’t either. But we can only support you if you reach out, so call today to start readjusting tomorrow. For adoption resources or to begin your adoption journey, birth parents can visit us at Adoption Choices of Arizona or call or text us at 1-480-900-5520. If you are a prospective adoptive family hoping to adopt a baby, please instead, visit us here!
Meet the Author: Peter is a writer and editor based in New York. Currently studying at Binghamton University, Peter is majoring in English Literature and Rhetoric. Whether working with Marketing Choices or the mental health blog, Runaway, Peter seeks to provide comfort and warmth to those around him through his writing. A huge advocate for change, Peter looks to promote adoption, mental health awareness, disability awareness, and environmental improvement. Forever looking to make meaningful connections, Peter can be found with a group of friends or going on walks and waving to anyone he passes.