The Grief Associated With Putting A Child Up For Adoption
Any woman who chooses to put her baby up for adoption with an adoption agency in Phoenix, Tucson, or Flagstaff may experience grief surrounding the loss of her child. Even though this choice has not been made lightly, it is still a loss. A birth mother choosing adoption loses out on raising her child, on seeing and experiencing every first memorable moment, or holding her child close every day, this is some of the grief associated with adoption that they might face. Regardless of the reasoning behind this noble choice, Adoption Choices of Arizona understands how heartbreaking it can be.
Is Adoption the Best Unplanned Pregnancy Option for Me?
Whenever you feel that pull of regret over putting your baby up for adoption, think about why you chose to pursue adoption for your baby. Perhaps you felt you were not ready to be a mother, or you did not have enough money to support your child or did not have the time and energy to devote to your child. Whatever the reasoning, you made this decision because it was best for you and for your child.
What Kind of Adoption Help Can I Receive for My Mental Health?
Are you suffering from more than just fleeting regret over your decision? If you believe you are experiencing hopelessness, lack of interest in activities you usually enjoy, difficulty concentrating, or self-destructive thoughts, please seek professional help from a psychiatrist, counselor, or social worker. If you are worried about affording a counselor, your caseworker from your Arizona adoption agency should be able to help you find the right counselor for you.
Any of these symptoms, especially over an extended period of time could be due to grief, anxiety, or Postpartum Depression. Postpartum Depression is known to creep up regardless of directly after your baby’s birth or months later. Between the onslaught of emotions, hormones, and the grief of opting for adoption, your mental health, as well as your physical health should be top priority. If you have any thoughts of self-harm or harming others, call your doctor immediately. Your support system will be an invaluable aid during this difficult time. If you need help and are not finding the support you need, even from your friends and family, your caseworker is happy to be there for you and find you whatever help you need.
Your Sacrifice and Pain When Adopting Out Your Baby
In times when your emotions feel too strong, or the sadness is overwhelming, think of your child and the future you have given them. It is because of you that your child has a loving family. You helped choose a family who is wholly devoted to your baby, ready to do whatever it takes for them to be happy and healthy. Because of you, a family was formed and parents who were without a child can now hold their child, your child, in their arms and feel that all-encompassing love in their hearts. It is because of you a couple or individual who was childless can now share the never-ending love in their hearts as they build their family. You have done something incredible and there is nothing wrong with acknowledging that, even when your heart hurts.
Even though you feel the sadness in your soul that will take so much time to heal from, you have every right to feel that pain. Do not push that pain away, but address it, stare it in the eye, and fight it. Dig deep into the love and support you find in those around you and in the love you have for your child and acknowledge that pain, fight it, and win. Those emotions hurt, but they are a badge of honor because you have done an amazing thing that your child and their family will always be grateful for.
The emotional turmoil putting a child up for adoption can bring to birth mothers is an unfortunate side effect of the love and care that went into your decision to place your baby with a family who could care for them in your place. When this grief grips you, think about your child’s life and the wonderful life you have now given them with their family.
Think of a compassionate family who loves your child more than anything in the world. You have created a family, you are their hero. You are a brave, strong individual who made a compassionate choice to put your child’s needs first, regardless of how much it may hurt you or how it could impact your life. As hard and scary as that was, you did it and you will get through it. At Adoption Choices of Arizona, we want to help you through this trying time and every trying time to come.
For adoption resources or to begin your adoption journey, birth parents can visit us at Adoption Choices of Arizona or call or text us at 1-480-900-5520. If you are a prospective adoptive family hoping to adopt a baby, please instead, visit us here!
Meet the author: Carly is a recent graduate of Connecticut College with a dual degree in Psychology and Italian Studies. Graduating Cum Laude with honors in both Psychology and Italian departments, Carly has a background in gender-related research through the Connecticut College Psychology Department and Honors Theses Program. When not trying to figure out life or working, Carly is reading historical fiction novels or playing with her black cat, Isabelle.