Will My Child Hate Me if I Put Them Up for Adoption?
It’s common for mothers like you to have anxieties about putting your child up for adoption. Even if you have totally decided that adoption is right for you, you might be starting to wonder about your child’s life with the adoptive family. How can you really be sure that the adoptive family will take good care of your child? What if the adoptive family tells your child horrible things about you? Do adoptive children come to resent their birth parents for giving up on them? Adoption Choices of Arizona has been working with mothers like you with putting their children up for adoption for years. Here’s just a few ways you can know your child will be happy and won’t come to resent you.
How Adoptive Families are Chosen
One way you can know your child will be happy with their family is that adoptive families aren’t just anybody. Instead, parents looking to adopt must meet a variety of standards and interviews to get put on the waiting list for adoptive families.
First is the home study. This consists of several parts: individual interviews, couple interviews, a home assessment, a background check, and a report to the court. In the interview section, either a social worker or a licensed home study organization will talk to the parents individually and together. This part exists so they can make sure the parents are on the same page on parenting principles. They also want to make sure there’s no situation where the adoptive family would reject their child.
The home assessment steps back from the parents to look at the living space. If you’ve ever had a pet before, children can be even more clever when they mess up your furniture or knock a cup off the table. The adoptive family’s house must be babyproof. Electrical sockets should be covered and pets should be well trained.
The background check is about making sure medical records are in place and that there is no history of dangerous crime from the adoptive family. The adoptive family must also be able to provide health care for their child and have a solid income. Once the home study is done, all of the information is filed to the court confidentially, and the family can adopt for the next year. Once that time is up, they must update their home study again. With this system, you can be sure that adoption agencies in Phoenix only provide the most prepared adoptive parents for your child.
Talking to the Adoptive Family
Another great way to ease your fears about the adoptive family is to talk to them. Adoption Choices of Arizona help you get in touch with the adoptive family before you decide to place your child with them. The best part is that this communication doesn’t need as soon as your child is placed. Depending on what you would prefer, the adoptive family can send you pictures and videos of your child growing up over the years. If you would like, you can even arrange occasional meetings with the adoptive family to see how everything is going.
This is a great way for you to see your child growing up while also easing your fears about their well-being. It’s just another way you can feel secure putting your child up for adoption.
How do Adoptive Children View Their Birth Parents?
It can be easy to assume an adoptive child’s view of their birth parents is negative by default. Do children feel abandoned by their birth parents? But really, your child hasn’t been abandoned at all. From their point of view, they grew up with two loving parents. They always had someone to take care of them and to love them. That is far from being abandoned. Once the child knows they’re adopted, they can also learn about your story, too. If you have come to choose adoption, it’s because you had good reasons you wouldn’t be able to give them the childhood they got. Your child will appreciate how well they were taken care of, and they can know that you never forgot about them.
Putting Your Child up for Adoption with Adoption Choices of Arizona
Adoption Choices of Arizona knows it can be difficult to imagine another family raising your child. But we hope that you can see how we make sure your child will be happy and healthy. The in-depth home study makes sure the family is totally prepared to raise a child. Before you choose a family, you can talk to the family and get to know a little more about them. And from other adoptive children, we know that adopted children don’t tend to hate their birth mothers at all by default. To learn more about adoption plans and adoption services, contact Adoption Choices of Arizona today!
For adoption resources or to begin your adoption journey, birth parents can visit us at Adoption Choices of Arizona or call or text us at 1-480-900-5520. If you are a prospective adoptive family hoping to adopt a baby, please instead, visit us here!
Explore here to find adoption agencies in Phoenix.
Meet the author: Joshua Boulet is an aspiring journalist and writer with a particular fondness for research and social sciences. He loves music, writing, reading, video games and most art, and anything creative he can get his hands on. Boulet believes that there’s too much good stuff out there and not enough time to see it all. He grew up on video games: the classic Sonic the Hedgehog games, Mario Kart, Marvel Ultimate Alliance, and Legend of Zelda. The music of rhythm games led him to an interest in that, and the investigative journalism of Jason Schreier inspired him to discover the importance of journalism as an industry. That interest in developers’ lives led him to an interest in social justice and how the world could maybe be made into a better place. “All this to say, there is certainly a line I can draw between me obsessively playing Sonic the Hedgehog 2 and me interviewing my sociology professor about how to read academic articles. Those surprising through lines fascinate me all the same. At my best, I’m a person who gets to be constantly fascinated by the lives and work of other people.”
His favorite quote is from his favorite jazz musician:
“A genius is the one most like himself” – Thelonious Monk.