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Tips on Communication in an Open Adoption in Arizona

When you decide on an open adoption over a closed one, a key factor tends to be the possibility of having some form of communication with both the adoptive family and your child. As a birth mother, you may be interested in maintaining a relationship with your adoptive family, but you might not be completely sure how it all works. If communication in an open adoption is ultimately something that you want as a birth mother, then here are a handful of important tips on how you can help make that happen.

  1. Setting Boundaries

One of the most important things you can do to make communication in an open adoption go smoothly is to be clear about your expectations and boundaries before the adoption process is even finalized. At Adoption Choices of Arizona, we give you the choice of which adoptive family you want to raise your child, and an important part of this process is setting boundaries for how you intend to communicate. If you feel that you want to have a certain kind of communication, then consider looking for an adoptive family whose preference matches your own.

It’s also important to be clear when talking about the level of communication you expect between you as a birth mother and the adoptive family. You should discuss things like the frequency of communication that you are looking for in an open adoption, as well as the means of communication, such as telephone calls or in-person visits. All of these are valuable boundaries to consider when choosing an adoptive family, and they all play a part in maintaining a healthy open adoption.

  1. Understanding Your Role

It is important to understand that while you hold a special place in your child’s life as their birth mother, having the means of communication does not give you power above your child’s adoptive family. When the adoption process is complete and a judge signs off on the transfer of parental rights, you no longer have the authority to make decisions for your child. While an adoptive family may express that they would value your input, it is important to remember that they have the final say in how they raise your birth child, regardless of your approval. This is why Adoption Choices of Arizona takes a lot of care in helping you find an adoptive family who shares your values, if that is something important to you.

In this scenario, you should understand what your role is in an open adoption, and the limits on communication that come with it. Understanding the part you play in seeing your child grow from the outset can alleviate issues down the road if you feel you are entitled to something that you actually aren’t. Knowing your role as a birth mother is just one way to ensure that you will have positive communication in an open adoption.

  1. Bonding Together as Birth and Adoptive Parents

Though you share a very obvious connection in acting as parents to your child one way or another, an open adoption relationship between birth mother and adoptive family is a relationship like any other. If you want it to grow, you’ll have to work at it. Building trust and making a connection is done like anything else, and you can take steps to build this relationship and the communication that will follow. Consider spending time with the adoptive family, if possible. Another good idea is to maintain a positive relationship through your communication. Send them messages and don’t be afraid to talk about the adoption process, how you might be feeling, and how they might be feeling. 

Bonding isn’t always easy, especially in a situation like adoption where you are trusting another parent with your child’s life, but it is doable. Do not feel discouraged. Consider finding some mutual interests or talking about your shared experiences to help create a relationship where communication comes more naturally.

Understanding Communication in an Open Adoption

An adoptive family choosing to work out a relationship with you through open adoption is a blessing for most birth mothers. You will get to see your child grow and receive updates on how they’re doing, while maintaining a relationship with them, even if you can’t always be there. Communication in an open adoption is a gift, but it does not exist without input and support from both you and your adoptive family. Working together to build a relationship by setting boundaries and establishing roles will ensure that you have a positive line of communication for years to come. Hopefully this gives you an idea of what to expect and what to work towards in your own open adoption.

For adoption resources or to begin your adoption journey, birth parents can visit us at Adoption Choices of Arizona or call or text us at 1-480-900-5520. If you are an prospective adoptive family hoping to adopt a baby, please instead, visit us here!

Meet the AuthorJosh Drogemuller is a Senior at Grand Valley State University and has interests in writing and digital studies. A relative newcomer to the field of professional writing, Josh has spent the last eight years of his educational career honing his skills on the page. Josh is currently working towards a Bachelor of Science in Writing. 

Living in the Midwest, Josh looks forward to long baseball games and longer sentences.

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