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Top 5 Myths about Birth Mothers to Stop Believing 

The road to adoption and child placement can be a challenging and lonely one for a birth mother. Although adoption is not a new practice, it’s often kept out of mainstream media, misrepresented in TV and books, and simply remains a mystery to many. As a result, it’s difficult to dispel the various, negative stereotypes about birth mothers that could potentially be degrading and harmful.

If you need adoption help now, please call or text us at 1-480-900-5520 or visit us at Adoption Choices of Arizona. We hope that through offering our services, we can lessen the stigma behind adoption and birth mothers. Here are the top 5 myths about birth mothers to stop believing. 

  1. Myth: She doesn’t love her baby

Quite the opposite, actually! A birth mother loves her child so much, she is willing to sacrifice her parental rights. For whatever reason, some people falsely believe that adoption means the birth mom doesn’t love her baby. Placing her baby for adoption is how a birth mother expresses her unconditional love for her child. It takes a whole lot of courage to recognize that you aren’t in the position to parent your child. The painful choice of selecting another family to take care of her baby is the ultimate act of love.

  1. Myth: Adoption is an “easy out”

Choosing to place her child for adoption is not an easy decision, nor one that is taken lightly. You never hear the word “easy” in relation to adoption. Placing her child for adoption leaves the birth mother in a highly sensitive state. Adoption can lead to depression, anxiety, lack of self-confidence, long-term or even lifelong grieving, and more. Choosing adoption is in no way an “easy out” for a birth mother, and it’s completely disrespectful to think differently. 

  1. Myth: Birth mothers “give up” their baby

Birth mothers give up spicy food. They give up alcohol. They give up soda. One thing they don’t give up is their baby. Pregnancy is not easy and shouldn’t be taken lightly. Why would a birth mother go through hormonal changes, morning sickness, and a whole slew of other discomforts that come with being pregnant, only to “give up” her child at the end of it?

“Giving up” is a term that’s usage is heavily discouraged within the adoption community. It has a very negative connotation to it, which could potentially scare off birth mothers who are trying to make the right choice. Adoption professionals prefer the term “placing/placement” rather than “give up” as that phrasing is more positive and celebrates a birth mother’s choice instead of demeaning it. Choosing adoption is not giving up.

  1. Myth: Birth mothers are teenagers or addicts

There is no one kind of birth mother. There is a wide range of ages, races, disabilities, marital status, financial status, and more. While there is a large selection of birth mothers who are teenagers, trying to lump all types of birth mothers together is dangerous and disrespectful. One size does not fit all. Evidence actually suggests that the majority of birth mothers are old enough to recognize that placing her baby for adoption is the best course of action. More often than not, young and inexperienced birth mothers decide to raise their baby, as they tend to glamorize pregnancy and motherhood. 

Yes, some birth mothers struggle with substance abuse, but that doesn’t define them as a birth mother. It’s an unfortunate misconception that the majority of birth mothers are addicts. Making assumptions or passing judgement on birth mother’s isn’t helpful but incredibly rude.

  1. Myth: Birth mothers will forget about their baby

Most adoptions these days are open or semi-open, meaning the birth mom remains in contact with her child however they deem fit. Getting updates through pictures, letters and more means that a birth mother won’t forget her child. While having this relationship with her child does help with the healing process, it doesn’t take away from the pain of placement.

Placing a child for adoption in Arizona is truly a life-altering experience. Birth mother’s don’t move on from their lives like nothing ever happened. Although they may not be parenting their child, a birth mother certainly doesn’t forget him or her. They may be separated physically, but they’re always present emotionally. 

Top 5 Myths about Birth Mothers to Stop Believing 

In order for us to understand birth mothers and what they go through, it’s important to understand what they are not first. They are not heartless, for they love their baby more than anything in the world. Birth mother’s do not “give up” their baby for an “easy out,” but rather place their baby for adoption, for they know there is someone else out there who can better take care of their child. 

There is also no one-size fits all in terms of birth mothers. They come from all different types of backgrounds. No matter the distance or communication, it’d be near impossible for a birth mother to forget her child and the love she has for them.

It’s truly important that we all work together to dispel these myths about birth mothers.

For adoption resources or to begin your adoption journey, birth parents can visit us at Adoption Choices of Arizona or call or text us at 1-480-900-5520. If you are an prospective adoptive family hoping to adopt a baby, please instead, visit us here!

Meet the author: Sarah Aguilera, a Northern Arizona University linguistics and creative writing graduate, is an aspiring author with a passion for influencing others through written words. She has a healthy ardor for all things literature and is often found with a book in her hands. 

When she’s not working, Sarah likes to spend her free time swimming, playing with her dog, going to concerts with friends and having crazy adventures with her family. Her love for her own family is what pushed her to join the adoption writing team. She looks forward to educating those hoping to grow their family through adoption.

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