Three Tips for Your First Christmas in an Open Adoption as a Birth Mother in Arizona
This is your first Christmas in an open adoption — an exciting time to plan and organize with your child’s adoptive family. The importance of building a familial relationship in an open adoption is not lost on us. Adoption Choices of Arizona is here to help you with your Christmas plans, and to ensure that your holiday season is as joyous as possible.
We understand that Christmas can be a stressful time, but we are here to make it as easy as possible! The following tips will help ease any pressure or anxiety you may feel, as they will provide insight into three major parts of your first Christmas with your child and their adoptive family — how to approach gift giving, where to meet to celebrate together, and how to enjoy the holidays overall.
- Gifts for Your Child and Their Adoptive Parents
Gift giving is a well-known tradition during the holiday season. Yet, it may be a little awkward when it’s your first holiday celebration with your child and their adoptive parents. Is getting your child a gift appropriate? What about his or her adoptive parents? Are you obligated to get one for them as well? If you aren’t sure how to proceed, be sure to reach with your adoption caseworker or the adoptive parents themselves. As you are in an open adoption agreement, communication is vital when wanting to know what’s okay and not, and how to maintain the boundaries previously discussed with them in your adoption journey.
Talk to your child’s adoptive parents about their thoughts on gift exchanges. Ask them for some ideas if you’d like to express your gratitude to them this way. If you have something special in mind that you’d like to give your child, ask the adoptive parents if they’ve purchased it already or would feel comfortable with the item you have in mind.
Remember that the gifts you give don’t need to be fancy. If you know of a store they like to shop at, or a restaurant they’ve talked about, getting your child’s adoptive parents a gift card is always a nice idea.
- Ideas about How to Celebrate Christmas Together
When first getting to know your child’s adoptive parents, you may have discussed what holidays would look like after the adoption was finalized. Though, it’s only natural to wonder about the appropriate location and when to meet to celebrate together. What did you decide about your first Christmas in an open adoption? Who would host? If you were going to meet on Christmas Day, Christmas Eve or another day altogether? If you live states apart, did you think about virtual options?
There are many options available to you, no matter where you are or what traditions you want to establish. However, it’s best to work together, as this may become an annual event. Each and every birth mother and adoptive parent will have their own opinions on how holidays should look, so be sure to communicate and determine what would work best for everyone. If your child’s adoptive parents would rather spend Christmas Day just as a family, and meet up with you on a different day, that’s okay. You are still getting to celebrate the holiday season together, creating special memories and establishing a lifelong tradition.
- Setting the Stage for the Future
How you choose to celebrate your first Christmas with your child and their adoptive parent could set the stage for future holidays. Though, it’s important to remain flexible at the same time, as things can always change from year to year. For instance, as your child grows older or as life gets more complicated for any of you. However, if creating a Christmas tradition is something that is essential for all of you to have, be sure that you make time for it.
There is no right or wrong way to spend Christmas together. Only what works best for you, your child and the adoptive parents. Having a tradition in place can create a special time of the year to look forward to and help you all establish a stronger bond.
First Christmas in an Open Adoption
It is completely up to you what your Christmas holiday looks like. But remember, in the midst of all the planning and organizing, to take time to enjoy yourself and practice self care. The holidays can bring up a lot of emotions for birth mothers, and be a difficult time of year, so if you want to spend their first Christmas alone, that is perfectly fine.
Adoption Choices of Arizona is here to help you any way you need. Your first Christmas can be an enjoyable event or it can be a challenging one. Either way, our doors are always open to you. We are not closed on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day like many other businesses. So, if you find yourself needing extra support — reach out. Our adoption counselors are here to provide you with comfort, encouragement and anything else you need.
For adoption resources or to begin your adoption journey, birth parents can visit us at Adoption Choices of Arizona or call or text us at 1-480-900-5520. If you are an prospective adoptive family hoping to adopt a baby, please instead, visit us here!
Meet the author: Victoria Fatiregun is a sophomore student at West Texas A&M University studying English. She has been writing blog posts for two years on her professional site that covers stories based around film and TV. Occasionally, Victoria also discusses elements of philosophy through poetic material, which is helping her to become a self-published author.
Victoria writes primarily about fiction, but dabbles in nonfiction too — specifically anything that has to do with social novels based in the Victorian era — and uses writing to understand the world around her. She self-published a nonfiction philosophy and lifestyle novel that she wrote to help others cope with life’s stresses. All of her interests and experiences come through her writing, and helps her focus, bring out central ideas and remain consistent. She hopes her works will aid society in the path towards altruism.
