Three Commendable Reasons Birth Mothers Choose Adoption in Arizona
As a birth mother, you may find yourself face to face with what we like to call the “doubt monster.” Just the thought of placing your child for adoption may seem overwhelming. You are most likely searching for answers about adoption with the hope of satiating the monster and taking control of your child’s future. If that’s you, we are here to guide you in the right direction.
Women are faced with this decision all over the globe; however, it can be one of the loneliest decisions you’ll ever make. You are the only one who can make the choice to place your baby for adoption. To help relieve some of the inner turmoil, consider these three commendable reasons birth mothers choose adoption. You may realize that you aren’t as alone as you thought…
- Better Than What You Had
One of the most honorable (and common) reasons birth mothers choose adoption is to give their baby a better life than they had. You may have grown up watching your own parents struggle, and this is a very strong “why” to consider when thinking about adoption. You may know, firsthand, the challenges of being raised in a home that wasn’t fully prepared for a child, and you want to provide a brighter future for your own baby.
Whether it’s finances or an unstable relationship, you may be facing the decision to place your child for adoption and give them a better experience. Though you won’t hear much about it, many birth mothers consider adoption because of an abusive partner or spouse. To shield your child from this pain, you may choose adoption simply because you are not able to (or do not want to) leave. This leads us into the next point.
- A Worse (or Absent) Half
Partners or spouses are not always the “better” half. You may find that your child’s birth father is unsupportive, violent, lazy or all of the above. You may not be willing to be tied to them for the next 18 years (or longer). From arguments about raising the child to lack of child support, many women cannot imagine the presence of the birth father and the drama it would bring. For this reason, you may decide that in order to avoid the pain, arguments and emotional strain on the child, to place your baby for adoption as an alternative.
If the relationship with the birth father is non-existent, you may decide that you do not want your baby to grow up in a single-parent household. Yes, single parenting is hard, but not impossible. It’s important to remember that. If you would rather place your baby for adoption, that is your choice. You are the only one who knows best. Just remember that not all single parents struggle. Make sure to evaluate your reasoning on this point. If you are simply making this decision out of fear, take some time to step back and evaluate your reasons.
- Special Considerations
Though not commonly mentioned, there is the possibility that your child will have special needs of some sort, whether it be mental or physical. Birth mothers may find themselves in this situation and realize that they are not able to provide the needed care. Thanks to medical advances, doctors can detect a baby’s medical and special needs in utero more quickly than ever before.
Finding out your baby has these special needs is hard for any pregnant birth mother, but if you know that you cannot provide the extra financial and practical support that your baby’s special needs require, you may pursue adoption in order to find parents for her baby that can.
It’s Your Call to Choose Adoption
Birth mothers who make the decision to place their children for adoption are selfless. If you love your baby unconditionally, you want what is best for him or her. This makes unconditional love the source of which all of the above reasons branch from. You may want your baby to have more than you had, to grow up in a stable home and have access to the best resources. In all of these cases, you are doing the right thing. People like to give their opinions (and we all know those are like). Your own family doesn’t walk in the shoes you do and neither do your friends. Each situation is unique. Do not let anyone sway you one way or another. You need to do what is right by your child. In the end, you and your baby are the ones left with the consequences (good or bad) that come from the decision you made — long after friends and family leave. It is always good to consult a trusted person, but, in the end, it’s your call.
If you have already made the decision to place your baby for adoption and are looking for confirmation to stop the guilty feelings you are facing, check out our post on post placement support options for birth mothers. Regret is a common feeling, especially in the days following the adoption occurs. Here at Adoption Choices of Arizona, we are here to help you as you navigate these difficult waters. You will have peace of mind knowing that you have individualized support and even financial resources to assure the safety and well being of you and your baby. Hopefully, these three commendable reasons birth mothers choose adoption will help to quiet that nasty ol’ doubt monster and leave you confident in your decision.
For adoption resources or to begin your adoption journey, birth parents can visit us at Adoption Choices of Arizona or call or text us at 1-480-900-5520. If you are an prospective adoptive family hoping to adopt a baby, please instead, visit us here!
Meet the author: Megan Nichols is a writer, artist and collector of multiple plants- most of which she has successfully killed. She lives in North Carolina with her goldendoodle, Rosie, and super-hero daughter. Megan is pursuing her MFA at Liberty University and plans to teach Art History and Creative Writing at her local community college after graduation.
When she isn’t sipping pumpkin spice coffee and madly typing away in her office, you can find her biking with her daughter or painting her next masterpiece while watching the squirrels.
