Positive Adoption Language: Give up My Baby vs. Place My Baby for Adoption
Adoption terminology hasn’t always been the most positive. In fact, some terms have become so saturated in negativity that it has evoked feelings of guilt and shame in many birth mothers. Other phrases have formed stereotypes and caused the entire industry to be shrouded in a negative light. This is quite unfortunate as there is nothing wrong with adoption or anything related to it.
Adoption Choices of Arizona prides itself on providing the most positive and empowering experience for birth mothers, adoptive parents and adoptees alike. As such, we’re working hard to implement more uplifting and positive adoption language into our local adoption agency’s vocabulary. We believe that the words we use can significantly impact how people feel about a specific subject. Take, for instance, the difference between the phrases “give my baby up for adoption” and “place my baby for adoption.”
Giving Up My Baby vs. Placing My Baby for Adoption
Associating adoption with phrases like “give up baby for adoption” creates a negative connotation around adoption, but adoption is not a bad thing. It’s the opposite. Adoption provides birth mothers with the option to give their baby a better chance at life, and helps adoptive parents fulfill their dream of having a family.
We believe that replacing this phrase with “placing my baby for adoption” will make a positive impact to your adoption journey and the adoption industry moving forward. Here is how:
1) You are NOT “Giving Up”
For a birth mother, sometimes, the idea of raising a child is too overwhelming. That’s ok. If you are experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and know that you cannot provide for your child in the way he or she deserves, adoption is an amazing option. But, please keep in mind that placing your baby for adoption is not “giving up.” You are giving your child their best chance at life, and helping an adoptive family’s dreams come true. You are making the most selfless, loving and courageous decision possible. You are not giving up — you are a warrior.
2) You want What’s Best
As a birth mother considering adoption, you have indicated that you want what is best for your child, even if that means you do not get to raise them. You have chosen to place your child in the care of someone who will be able to provide them with a loving, safe and secure future, no matter what. When you choose adoption, you are not giving up on yourself or your child. You are doing what’s best for them. You are putting your child’s needs above your own, and keeping their best interests at heart. All you want is for him or her to be healthy and happy. You will never stop being their birth mother, just as you will never stop loving them, no matter where you or they are.
3) You are in Control
When you choose to place your baby for adoption with our adoption center in Arizona, you are in control of the adoption journey. No one is — or will ever — force you into a decision that you are not comfortable making. In fact, no one should ever have that power over you. Because of the emotional complexity of your choice, we understand that there’s a natural grieving process and a range of emotions that you’ll experience when you go through your adoption journey. This will, undoubtedly, make things more challenging, but you will always be in control. So, you are not “giving up” your baby. You are willingly and selflessly making the choice to give him or her a life you aren’t able to. That is not an easy thing to do, and you will never be judged for that. We will be here to support you every step of the way.
Implementing Positive Adoption Language
Words hold weight. Most of us don’t even realize how much the words we use can affect our opinion or perspective of a situation. For instance, in the same way that negative words can influence us to see something in a negative light, positive adoption language will help shine a more positive light on adoption.
That’s why using words like “giving up” can make you second guess your decision to choose adoption and why an adoptee can feel like they were unwanted or abandoned when they learn about their adoption story. But, by changing the vocabulary that surrounds adoption, and with your help, we can change the way adoption is perceived. We can change how birth mothers and adoptees feel about themselves.
Adoption is a beautiful gift, and so is your choice. You are not “giving up.” You are placing your baby into the arms of a loving adoptive family who will cherish and support them with their whole heart.
For adoption resources or to begin your adoption journey, birth parents can visit us at Adoption Choices of Arizona or call or text us at 1-480-900-5520. If you are an prospective adoptive family hoping to adopt a baby, please instead, visit us here!
Meet the Author: Grace Myers is a sophomore Digital Media major at North Greenville University As a firm believer that every individual has a story to tell, and a right to be properly represented, she loves meeting new people and learning their stories.
When she’s not writing, you can find her listening to music or cuddling with her dog, Sundae.
