Pregnant? Lost? Start by Creating an Adoption Plan
Facing an unplanned pregnancy and feeling overwhelmed? We totally get it! Indecisiveness is guaranteed to bring on an anxiety attack faster than a hot knife through butter. As a birth mother, you’re already dealing with pregnancy hormones and the pressure of making a decision that will affect two lives. Who wouldn’t be stressed? If you’re reading this, you may be considering adoption; however, it may seem impossible to start when the process seems so complicated. In fact, you may be feeling so overwhelmed that you feel like doing nothing at all. Are we in the ballpark?
It isn’t likely that you would hop aboard a ship with no map and sail the high seas while leaving your destination in the hands of the winds and waves. That would be pretty dangerous (especially in hurricane season). We know that your child’s future is more important than floating in the deep blue sea, so it would only seem right to make a plan for your adoption as well. That’s why Adoption Choices of Arizona wants to provide you with five steps to creating an “adoption map.” By the end, you should hopefully arrive at the destination that is best for you and your baby. However, we cannot promise it will only be a three-hour tour.
Making the Decision to Choose Adoption
You can’t plan for a trip if you don’t know the destination. That said, the first step in creating an adoption plan is to make the CHOICE to place your child for adoption. Indecisiveness is a monster that can take a serious toll on your daily life and can leave you in a constant state of turmoil. However, with all of the thoughts flying around in your head, you may not be able to make up your mind. To fight this, you only need two trusty tools: a pen and a piece of notebook paper . Here are a few questions to get the process started:
- Am I making this decision based on the opinions of others?
- Am I able to provide for this child and give them what they deserve?
- Am I ready to commit to parenthood for the rest of my life?
- Is my decision based on what’s best for me or what is best for my baby?
Finding a Fit with Adoptive Parents
You’ve made the decision and can now breathe a little sign of relief. If you have chosen to move forward with adoption, you will want to note some of the qualities you want in an adoptive family. Here are a few questions to get you started when creating your adoption plan.
Should the adoptive parents:
- Be single or married?
- Share the same race as your baby?
- Live in a city or a more rural place?
- Practice a certain religion?
Contact Preferences – Adoption Openness
The next question you will want to ask yourself is how much contact you want to have with the adoptive family and the child. You may choose an open, semi-open or closed adoption. Each of these choices will be thoroughly explained when you speak to our agency. Open adoptions are most common and provide the most flexibility for each party. You can read more about contact preferences here!
Adoption Birth/Hospital Plan
Once you have reached a conclusion about the type of family and amount of contact you want to have with your child, you will need to consider your plans for the day your child is born. All mothers go through stress and worry when it comes to this process. Realize you are not alone in this. Some things you may want to consider when making your hospital plan may be:
- The basics: hospital, doctor and any role the birth father plays
- Who you want to be present
- The type of birth and pain relief options available
- Any special considerations when it comes to your comfort preferences, photos or medical allergies
Post Adoption Resources
Since we are here with you every step of the way, Adoption Choices of Arizona offers support for you even after the adoption process is completed. Many times, birth mothers will experience a vast array of emotions after all is said and done. The intensity in which birth mothers grieve over their child can vary greatly. However, it is very common for birth mothers to progress through the stages of loss to varying degrees. Just as with mourning the death of a loved one, placing a child for adoption can signal the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
You will need support from everyone in your circle. You will want to consider your support options beforehand so that if any unexpected emotions arise, you’ll already have a plan. Consider finding a counselor, joining a support group for birth mothers and speaking with your own friends and family to identify possible hurdles that may arise in the future.
In Control of Your Adoption Plan
You’ve taken the first step in this planning process by taking the time to read this article and do your own homework. You made a stride in the right direction and didn’t even know it! Armed with these five steps to creating an adoption plan, you should be well on your way to calming your mind and easing your anxiety. Making a plan relieves the stress. Simply knowing what’s next can bring much needed relief. It’s time to take back your control and steer the ship with a clear map for the waters ahead.
For adoption resources or to begin your adoption journey, birth parents can visit us at Adoption Choices of Arizona or call or text us at 1-480-900-5520. If you are an prospective adoptive family hoping to adopt a baby, please instead, visit us here!
Meet the author: Megan Nichols is a writer, artist and collector of multiple plants- most of which she has successfully killed. She lives in North Carolina with her goldendoodle, Rosie, and super-hero daughter. Megan is pursuing her MFA at Liberty University and plans to teach Art History and Creative Writing at her local community college after graduation.
When she isn’t sipping pumpkin spice coffee and madly typing away in her office, you can find her biking with her daughter or painting her next masterpiece while watching the squirrels.