Debunking the Top Three Common Myths about Single Adoptive Parents
Broke, overwhelmed and lonely – three attributes of the classic single parent (or a description of your ex), right? We all succumb to the idea that single parents fit a specific mold because of what we see on television or in our personal lives. We assume that they struggle more than married couples; but is this always the case?
Here at Adoption Choices of Arizona, we are on a mission to debunk these three common myths about single adoptive parents so that birth mothers choosing adoption and searching for their perfect adoptive family can make an informed decision without misconceptions getting in the way.
- Empty Pockets
Oftentimes, when we think of the single adoptive parent stereotype, visions of empty cupboards and public assistance race by. Although it isn’t far from the truth for many, one must realize that not all single adoptive parents are on the same playing field when it comes to their ability to provide. When our agency screens potential adoptive parents, we ensure that they have the resources to provide for your child and are financially stable.
Many times, single people looking to adopt have come to a place in their lives where they are tired of being alone. Where they have spent their whole life working and now they want someone to share it with. Research shows that single adoptive parents also hold higher degrees and better jobs than married people. This means more finances to provide for your child and better opportunities going forward. Did someone say, “college?”
- The Lone Ranger
Did you know that being alone and being lonely are not the same? Many single adoptive people prefer to fly solo and wouldn’t want it any other way. Though we all need connection, some may not want (or haven’t found) a partner or spouse to spend their lives with. Have you been on a dating app lately? It’s slim pickins. Typically, females have the mothering instinct but desire to raise a child without another person interfering. If they choose the single parent life, no one tells them how to raise the baby, where to send the child to school or what clothes to wear to grandma’s house. In this situation, two different backgrounds and parenting styles are not clashing.
Additionally, single adoptive parents get the satisfaction of knowing that the positive choices your child makes is a direct result of their good parenting – and that is a wonderful thing! There is no drama and no one else trying to take the credit for little Jimmy’s good manners or stellar grades. And speaking of drama…single adoptive parents can assure that your child will not be a part of a messy divorce. In fact, they will only add a partner or spouse to the family unit if it benefits both the adoptive parent and your child. Only when the adoptive parent sees that a partner or spouse can add value to your child’s life will they venture into those waters. Your child isn’t the third wheel or a guinea pig in this situation. Instead, they become a filter for the adoptive parent to see if a potential mate is good enough to enter their inner circle.
- Two’s Company, Three’s a Crowd!
Ever heard of a partner or spouse complaining that their significant other is like a second child? This is not far from the truth in many cases. Raise your hand if you know what we mean! Single adoptive parents may only have two hands, but believe us, they can do more with them when a partner or spouse doesn’t require their attention. As a single adoptive parent, they are able to devote their time to your child without feeling pulled in two different directions. Since we already established that the typical single adoptive parent has a steady income and a high education, it is safe to say that they are good managers of time and energy. After a long day at work, they will want nothing more than to kick off their shoes, turn on the television and snuggle up with your child and a bowl of ice cream. And there’s definitely no partner or spouse in the background whining about the credit card bill or needing a back massage. Sweet freedom! The majority of the adoptive parent’s energy is dedicated to your child. Getting all of the attention from a parent is wonderful for your child and they will enjoy being a party of two (unless there’s a dog, then three works!).
Also, remember that a partner or spouse is not the only person in the world who can help a single adoptive parent raise your child. When someone makes the decision to adopt, they know they will need some help. This is where family and friends pitch in to make sure the adoptive parent doesn’t get overwhelmed. Unlike a partner or spouse who may become aggravated with your child because they spend 24/7 with them, a grandparent or aunt will welcome any time they get to spend with your baby. They will enjoy those precious moments and provide a safe place so that the single adoptive parent can unwind and refresh.
Choosing Single Adoptive Parents
As a birth mother, you want your child to have the best life possible. You are making the ultimate sacrifice to give them that gift and we commend you for your bravery. Explaining the truth behind these three common myths about single adoptive parents is just one of the many ways we can help you navigate the world of adoption.
Single parents often have less drama, more outside help and a few extra bucks in the bank. These factors only add to the level of stability they can provide. Single adoptive parenting offers a truly unique relationship with your child. They become a parent’s best friend and the bond they share is unbreakable. Giving your child their best chance may look a little different than you expected, but don’t let it stop you from exploring all of your options. Adoption (and adoptive parent selection) is a choice – and one that we honored to help you make!
For adoption resources or to begin your adoption journey, birth parents can visit us at Adoption Choices of Arizona or call or text us at 1-480-900-5520. If you are an prospective adoptive family hoping to adopt a baby, please instead, visit us here!
Meet the author: Megan Nichols is a writer, artist and collector of multiple plants- most of which she has successfully killed. She lives in North Carolina with her goldendoodle, Rosie, and super-hero daughter. Megan is pursuing her MFA at Liberty University and plans to teach Art History and Creative Writing at her local community college after graduation.
When she isn’t sipping pumpkin spice coffee and madly typing away in her office, you can find her biking with her daughter or painting her next masterpiece while watching the squirrels.