Flying Solo: Advantages to Choosing Single Adoptive Parents
Cul-de-sac, white picket fence, two high-earning parents, an organic recipe board on Pinterest and a golden retriever named Fido. If you are going to adopt a child, you need all of that and a stick family decal set on the back of your Honda Odyssey, right? Wrong, my friend!
There are many misconceptions when it comes to single people wishing to adopt. And, as a birth mother, you may not have even considered a single person as an adoptive parent for your child. This idea may immediately spark the incorrect notion that single parents always struggle. But this is simply not the case, especially in our ever-evolving world. As you navigate this time of uncertainty, remember that there are quite a few advantages to choosing single adoptive parents.
Up From Here
Stigma around single parenting has existed for years. This is because the stigma revolves around the fact that there are only two hands and one income…and the idea that the child will be given “less” than a child from two parents. Is this always the case? Certainly not. Let’s look at this from a slightly different angle.
Divorce rates are at their highest across the country with nearly half of marriages ending in divorce. Divorce leads to instability and the loss of the presence of one parent. After this happens, the quality of life for the already tender child will most likely decrease as they adjust to a new normal (again). However, if a single person adopts the child, they are already verified by the agency to be a person who can provide for the child all by themselves. The addition of a partner can only increase the stability of that unit, and provide even more opportunity for your child. The only way they can go is up!
Adoptive parents often have higher educational degrees and hold financially secure jobs. They have had their time to study, get a high education and land a great job. Usually, by the time they realize they want to adopt, they have already made great strides in their careers and are often lonely and ready to share their home. Maybe Mr. or Mrs. Right haven’t made it into the board room yet, so they are ready to share a home with a baby. The child also benefits from having the parent all to themselves. This will most likely encourage a greater bond between the two than if a couple adopted the child. If the single adoptive parent is a woman who is not able to bear children herself, she often desires to express her mothering instinct and has tons of compassion and love that cannot wait to come out.
Happy Parent, Happy Child
Research has shown that the adjustment rates of children adopted into single parent homes equates to the adjustment rates of children adopted into more traditional households.
Additionally, single parent households that complete an adoption are more likely to feel like the outcome of their efforts was positive. When the new adoptive parent is calm and ready to accept a child into their home, the child receives the least stressful environment possible. Children, no matter if they are adopted or not, bring some amount of stress into marriages and relationships. This initial tension is completely avoided when there is only one parent who has made the commitment to the child. The only other people who will play a large role in the child’s life is an adoptive parent’s support group. Aunts, uncles, grandpas and grandmas will be happy to help! Unlike a partner or spouse, they can babysit the child for small lengths of time and not experience the stress of a 24/7 commitment. The single parent can also take time for him or herself to relax knowing the baby is taken care of. It’s a win, win!
As a birth mother, you do not know the needs of your child before he or she is born. Most birth mothers assume that their child will not have special needs; but what if they do? The numbers show that most of the time, single parents are the ones who end up adopting a child with special needs, especially older children.Single parents are filling the gap where there is an extreme shortage of families who will adopt a child who needs more than most. In fact, children with special needs who were adopted into single parent homes were shown to have fewer overall problems than similar children adopted by two parent homes. The number of single parents interested in adopting a child has slowly continued to increase. Currently, 89% of parents agree that even with behavioral episodes, they are not unhappy about their decision to adopt a child.
One more, please!
If you are a birth mother struggling with the choice you have concerning placing your child for adoption, remember that not all families look alike. Many times, a single parent can give just as much (or more) to your child than a traditional couple. There are no “adult” arguments about how to raise the baby — and that in itself is a huge relief for the adoptive parent! No silly arguments about what preschool the child should attend. The only foreseeable fight may be whether or not Grandma feeds the child an extra cookie after dinner. Since we are on a roll, let’s add the fact that single parents get the whole bed to themselves (and the TV remote). Naturally, their mood will be better, right?
Whether you just found out you are pregnant or you are getting ready to have your baby, remember that there are many advantages to choosing a single adoptive parent. Always do what you think is best for your child and research your options. Just remember, single people are looking to share their love too. Who knows? They may even have an extra stick person decal in reserve for their new addition.
For adoption resources or to begin your adoption journey, birth parents can visit us at Adoption Choices of Arizona or call or text us at 1-480-900-5520. If you are an prospective adoptive family hoping to adopt a baby, please instead, visit us here!
Meet the author: Megan Nichols is a writer, artist and collector of multiple plants- most of which she has successfully killed. She lives in North Carolina with her goldendoodle, Rosie, and super-hero daughter. Megan is pursuing her MFA at Liberty University and plans to teach Art History and Creative Writing at her local community college after graduation.
When she isn’t sipping pumpkin spice coffee and madly typing away in her office, you can find her biking with her daughter or painting her next masterpiece while watching the squirrels.