Ways to Bond with Your Child’s Adoptive Parents in an Open Adoption

The strength you have for placing your baby for adoption is indisputable and unmatched. You have brought more joy in the lives of the adoptive parents than you could ever imagine! 

One of the most important aspects of an adoption is the relationship between you, as the birth mother, and your child’s adoptive parents. In an open adoption, this healthy relationship is beneficial to all parties. 

Here are ways to bond with your child’s adoptive parents in an open adoption:

Pre-Placement

One of the first things you do after making the decision to place your baby for adoption is creating an adoption plan. Remember that you are in charge. An adoption specialist, such as one provided by Adoption Choices of Arizona, will sit down with you and discuss and steps on your adoption. 

One of these steps is choosing your child’s adoptive parents. During this time, it’s important to consider the relationship you’ll have with your child’s adoptive parents while combing through profiles. If you can’t see yourself being friends with them, how can you see yourself placing your baby for adoption with them?

When you’ve found the right adoptive family, get to know them. Bonding before the baby is born is encouraged and can help put all parties involved at ease. If you’re nervous, start small.

• Send a copy of your sonogram picture. If you’re not comfortable having the adoptive parents at check-up appointments, simply let them know how each appointment went. This not only lets them understand the baby’s health better, but also gives you support. 

• Go for a walk together around the park. Getting fresh air and exercise is always a good thing when you’re pregnant. Even if it’s a quick walk around the neighborhood, or to a small café, spending time talking with your child’s adoptive parents is beneficial. It will allow you both to get to know and understand one another better.
• Gifting them a birthday card. Let the adoptive parents know you care! Thank the couple or individual on their birthday, or even holidays, to let them know how much they mean to you. They are raising your baby with so much love, and that’s a great thing. 

It’s incredibly important for you to get along with your child’s adoptive parents, as you will be in each other’s lives for the long haul. Having a steady and healthy relationship will also positively affect your child. This will destigmatize adoption, and your child will pick up on that. 

Post-Placement

The time immediately following the birth and placement of your child is filled with sensitivity and a multitude of emotions. This is when your relationship with the adoptive parents takes its next step. 

• Give one another space. As stated before, the emotions running after the birth are high. You are still processing the fact that you placed your child for adoption. The adoptive parents are still processing that they are now responsible for their new son or daughter. It’s ok to take time to grieve and process through these emotions before you meet and talk with the adoptive parents.

• Send messages. Just like you, these adoptive parents have experienced something that will change their life forever. Let them know you’re thinking about them. Be flexible as well. Understand that they are busy taking care of a newborn and they might not talk to you often or respond quickly. 
• Go over the adoption plan. Make sure you and the adoptive parents are on the same page. This can be a bonding experience to let you final thoughts be known.

Bonding with your child’s adoptive parents

You picked these parents for a reason. Perhaps they showed you their family picture and you recognized the lake in the background. Take a trip to the lake! Maybe you are both dog lovers and have pets of your own. Hang out at the dog park together. 

Find ways to connect with each other, even if they seem small. You don’t have to be the best of friends and hang out everyday, but have a solid and healthy relationship. Communication is key in an open adoption. Create boundaries and define your relationship. Take the time to discover ways to bond with your child’s adoptive parents in an open adoption.

For adoption resources or to begin your adoption journey, birth parents can visit us at Adoption Choices of Arizona or call or text us at 1-480-900-5520. If you are an prospective adoptive family hoping to adopt a baby, please instead, visit us here!

Meet the author: Sarah Aguilera, a Northern Arizona University linguistics and creative writing graduate, is an aspiring author with a passion for influencing others through written words. She has a healthy ardor for all things literature and is often found with a book in her hands. 

When she’s not working, Sarah likes to spend her free time swimming, playing with her dog, going to concerts with friends and having crazy adventures with her family. Her love for her own family is what pushed her to join the adoption writing team. She looks forward to educating those hoping to grow their family through adoption.