5 Important Questions to Ask before Placing Your Baby for Adoption
Feeling overwhelmed and confused? We understand. Placing your baby for adoption can trigger all kinds of conflicting emotions ranging from fear and agitation to hope to excitement. Deep down, you know you’re making the right decision for you and your baby, but you are struggling with some unrest in your heart. The good news is that this decision is in your control! You can be confident in the fact that you do not have to go this alone. There are many ways to get help from support groups to agencies like Adoption Choices of Arizona.
If you need help now, call or text us at 1-480-900-5520.
The best way to gain peace about your situation is to become more knowledgeable on the subject. Information provides you with the much needed control that you possibly need during this time of change. The first step in learning is to ask questions. You may not know what to even ask at this point, so here are just a few adoption questions to get you started on your journey.
Why am I considering adoption?
This is a question that only you can answer, and is the foundation of your adoption decision. The big “why” factor will not only help you make the best choice, but it will also assist you emotionally after the process is over (if you so choose). You may realize that you are too young to have a child, that you cannot take care of him or her or maybe that you simply aren’t ready for parenthood.
These are all great reasons for you to consider placing your baby for adoption.
Is choosing adoption MY decision?
Along the same lines, it is important to make sure that your “why” is actually yours. Be careful when considering the feelings of others, as they do not have to live with the final decision. Do not be coerced into anything that feels uncomfortable. You have time to make your choice and no one should rush you. Family, friends and acquaintances all have opinions. Be open to hearing their suggestions, but realize that, in the end, this one is up to you. You are the birth mother and you are in control.
Will I change my mind about choosing adoption?
This question is most likely one that has been on the heart of every birth mother in history. You may fear the regret of placing your child for adoption, the choice of adoptive parents or going through with the pregnancy. It’s one of the scariest emotions you’ll feel during your adoption journey.
Many birth mothers will tell you that the feelings of regret are temporary. That those emotions are strongest in the few days after the separation. After nine months, your body is prepared to care for a baby and is producing the hormones that create feelings of attachment between mother and child. This is also when you can experience symptoms of postpartum depression. It can be very difficult to overcome those feelings, which is why we have counselors on staff to help you.
The feeling that you may regret your decision looms like a dark shadow. If you’re having doubts, think long and hard about the reasons you’re choosing adoption. It’s a huge decision to make and you need to be absolutely sure before the baby is born. If you think the situation you’re in is temporary, you may want to consider keeping the child. But, if you know in your heart that you simply can’t provide for the child the life you want them to have, adoption could be the right choice for you. Making sure of your decision is vital because, once the paperwork is signed, there is nothing that can be done to reverse the adoption.
What type of adoption should I choose?
If you have questions to ask before placing your child for adoption, one of them is most likely about the types of adoptions. You can choose between an open adoption, closed adoption, or semi-open adoption. Open adoptions are most common as they still leave room for interaction between the adoptive parents, birth mother and adopted child. There is much information on this topic throughout our site that will guide you in the right direction.
What type of adoptive family do I want my child to have?
If you are seriously considering adoption as an option, the next step would be to ask yourself about the life and the family that you have envisioned for your child. Most times, birth mothers want to place their child for adoption because they want the child to have a chance at a better life. With this in mind, what life are you envisioning for your child? Do you want your child to be local? Would you like them to be in a close family with other children? Do you have religious preferences?
The great news here is that as the birth mother you are in control. You can filter what type of family you want for your child down to the last detail! Do not let the fear of your child going to a randomly selected family stop you from making the best decision.
Adoption is your choice
Ultimately, the choice you make is a brave one, whether you choose adoption or not. Bringing a child into the world is scary and no easy task. When you are considering questions to ask before placing your child for adoption, refer to this list and remember your reasons. This is still your baby. Adoption is a choice and should never be forced. Do not give into pressure from others because in the end, you and your child are the ones living with the results.
If you are reading this and have already placed your child for adoption, check out our post on post placement support options for birth mothers. Regret is a common feeling, especially in the days following the adoption occurs. Here at Adoption Choices of Arizona, we are here to help you as you navigate these difficult waters. You will have peace of mind knowing that you have individualized support and even financial resources to assure the safety and well being of you and your baby.
For adoption resources or to begin your adoption journey, birth parents can visit us at Adoption Choices of Arizona or call or text us at 1-480-900-5520. If you are an prospective adoptive family hoping to adopt a baby, please instead, visit us here!
Meet the author: Megan Nichols is a writer, artist and collector of multiple plants- most of which she has successfully killed. She lives in North Carolina with her goldendoodle, Rosie, and super-hero daughter. Megan is pursuing her MFA at Liberty University and plans to teach Art History and Creative Writing at her local community college after graduation.
When she isn’t sipping pumpkin spice coffee and madly typing away in her office, you can find her biking with her daughter or painting her next masterpiece while watching the squirrels.