5 Common Questions Birth Mothers have for Adoption Agencies
We make choices every day. Should we eat the chocolate or the apple? Should we take a walk or snuggle with the dog? Should we wear pants or not? Most of those choices are automatic and do not require a lot of serious thought. However, the choice you have as a birth mother about which adoption agency to choose is a very important one. Since you are here, it is safe to assume that you are considering your options and searching for answers. Good for you! Education is power.
Here at Adoption Choices of Arizona, we are prepared to answer the hard questions and guide you on your journey through this process of decision making. Asking an agency the right questions may be the difference between choosing adoption or not. It is our goal to help you decide by providing you with five common questions birth mothers have for adoption agencies (and their answers)!
- Will you make me aware of all of my options?
You need to be able to trust the adoption agency you choose. If you feel hurried or pressured, move on! Your adoption agency should make you feel welcome and relaxed. As you interview the agency, remember that this is ultimately your decision. No one should be pushing you to make a decision one way or the other.
Making a well-informed decision is vital in this process. The first choice presented to you after contemplating adoption is which agency to choose. Trust your gut. If you feel like nothing more than a number during the process, head to another agency. You deserve to be treated with respect and given personal attention. This is the beginning of your child’s adoptive future, so make sure you are comfortable.
- Do you encourage open adoption?
This is a very important question to ask. While there are many types of adoption you can look into, open adoption is always a wonderful option to consider. Take into consideration the relationship the adoptive parents might be seeking with you, and what relationship you all want with the baby as a unit. The way open adoption works largely depends on the level of openness.
At Adoption Choices of Arizona, you will have the option to choose a fully open adoption, a semi-open adoption or a closed adoption. Most domestic adoptions today are mediated, but still maintain some level of openness. For example, most birth mothers will choose an adoptive family for their baby. Many will also choose to meet the adoptive family before placement, and find peace of mind in knowing the adoptive parents who will raise their child.
Most of our waiting families agree to at least a semi-open adoption plan. Others are fully open to direct contact. A successful open adoption is founded on a mutual love for the child and a focus on his or her best interests. It requires trust, open-mindedness, and respectful relationships between both birth and adoptive families.
- What do you require of the adoptive families?
Because you want your baby to have the best life possible, you, once again, have to make a difficult decision: what adoptive parents are right for your child? What kind of adoption are the adoptive parents looking for? What do they believe? Are they prepared to raise your child? There are many questions to ask regarding the adoptive parents, so make sure this is something the agency will thoroughly walk you through as well.
Because we consider our journey together a lifelong one, it is our priority to ensure the safety of your child. All prospective adoptive parents must have FBI level clearance and undergo a rigorous state background check. Our social workers are on the ground, checking and re-checking the suitability of each family by checking their homes, conducting interviews and even their medical records. All debts and financials are meticulously examined, as well as tax information. As an added layer of protection, we also conduct thorough reference interviews to verify suitability.
- Will I have support options post placement?
While the steps leading up to and during the adoption process are important, it is imperative to ask the agency if they offer services to the birth mother post placement. You want to seek an agency that will hold your hand through this confusing time. With all of the emotions involved in placing your child for adoption, the last thing you need is to have to worry if anyone will be by your side when the dust settles.
With Adoptions Choices of Arizona, you can confidently move forward knowing that we are here to help through the whole process. Find out more information here if you are looking for our post placement resources.
- What is the background and experience of the agency?
The agency is compassionate, but are they competent? Can they provide you references? How many placements have they made this year? Are they responding to your calls in a timely fashion? Seemingly small details matter when it comes to choosing an agency. If the adoption agency has your best interest at heart, they will make sure to answer your questions with accuracy, truthfulness and efficiency. If you notice that you don’t feel quite right about an agency or feel like a burden to the staff, it’s time to beat feet!
This decision isn’t easy, and the process may seem like a whirlwind of stress at times. However, once you find your agency, a weight should be lifted off your shoulders and you’ll feel good about the decision you’ve made. You shouldn’t have the unsettled feeling that you’ve made a mistake. Once you choose an agency, it should feel like coming home – not giving your peace away.
It’s okay to ask…
These are only a few of the many common questions birth mothers have for adoption agencies. We are proud of your decision to thoroughly research your options. This shows initiative and dedication to your baby. However, feeling overwhelmed with this decision is perfectly normal. If you are feeling stuck and too afraid to make a decision, remember that reaching out to us does not mean that you have to choose our agency. We are here to support you in whatever decision you make. After all, adoption is a choice! If you choose to stop by our office for help, we will be prepared to assist you and your baby any way we can (pants or not)!
For adoption resources or to begin your adoption journey, birth parents can visit us at Adoption Choices of Arizona or call or text us at 1-480-900-5520. If you are an prospective adoptive family hoping to adopt a baby, please instead, visit us here!
Meet the author: Megan Nichols is a writer, artist and collector of multiple plants- most of which she has successfully killed. She lives in North Carolina with her goldendoodle, Rosie, and super-hero daughter. Megan is pursuing her MFA at Liberty University and plans to teach Art History and Creative Writing at her local community college after graduation.
When she isn’t sipping pumpkin spice coffee and madly typing away in her office, you can find her biking with her daughter or painting her next masterpiece while watching the squirrels.