Choosing Adoption After Birth

No matter how certain you are of your plans, things can always change. This statement applies to all areas of life, including parenthood. While adoption after birth is less common, it is possible. You still have that option no matter what you had originally planned. This piece hopes to give clarity as to why some birth mothers choose adoption after their child is born, and furthermore goes on to give some advice on how to handle emotions that may appear after making that choice. However, know that Adoption Choices of Arizona understands that every situation is unique. We are more than willing to talk to you about your specific situation and provide you with the resources you need.

Why Choose Adoption After Birth

While the motivations behind choosing adoption after birth varies from birth mother to birth mother, each of these situations is likely to have a situational and/or emotional change.

• I did not know I was pregnant. While this may seem far-fetched to some, it is possible that the birth mother did not know that she was pregnant. She may have only found out when she went into labor. With this type of pregnancy, the birth mother has not had time to make any future plans. She probably feels extremely unprepared to take care of this little life. Choosing a post-birth adoption may work for her due to the unexpectedness of her pregnancy. She does not have to come up with a plan but can still ensure that her baby has a wonderful life.

• My situation has changed. A birth mother may find herself with some last-minute changes to her situation, whether that be in her living situation, relationship situation or emotional situation. Some examples of those changes may include: loss of housing or a job, breaking up with the birth father, or suffering from postpartum depression. These changes can seem very overwhelming to a birth mother, and oftentimes adoption becomes the best choice — especially if the birth mother feels like the changes have left her unequipped to care for a child.

Once again, every situation is different. These are only examples of what could have influenced someone’s choice. Please know that you are never required to justify your decision of choosing adoption. You are the only person who gets to decide what is right for your baby

Dealing with Post-Adoption Emotions

The chances are, if you have chosen adoption after birth, you may find yourself to be struggling. Perhaps you had already begun to bond with your baby, or maybe you are beating yourself up for changing your plans so last minute. If this is true for you, we encourage you to stop and take a breath. 

You just made the biggest parenting decision of your life, don’t shame yourself for that. You made that choice because you wanted what was best for your baby, be proud of that. If you’ve already bonded with your baby, know that an open adoption is an option! So many adoptive families would love to have a relationship with you and understand your need to connect with your child. Do not give up. You’ve got this!

For adoption resources or to begin your adoption journey, birth parents can visit us at Adoption Choices of Arizona or call or text us at 1-480-900-5520. If you are an prospective adoptive family hoping to adopt a baby, please instead, visit us here!

Meet the Author: Grace Myers is a sophomore Digital Media major at North Greenville University As a firm believer that every individual has a story to tell, and a right to be properly represented, she loves meeting new people and learning their stories. 

When she’s not writing, you can find her listening to music or cuddling with her dog, Sundae.