Choosing LGBT Parents as a Birth Mother
Sifting through the applications of those who long to become the adoptive parents of your child is never easy. You want to choose the ideal candidates, of course, and there is bound to be loads of different people who lead very different lifestyles. Among these may be LGBT parents, who, unfortunately, have fewer options than most when it comes to starting a family.
Here are some reasons why we at Adoption Choices of Arizona believe you should choose LGBT parents to adopt your child:
LGBT parents raise open-minded children
Sadly, LGBT individuals are sometimes subjected to hostile environments, surrounded by people who don’t accept them for who they are. However, with that adversity comes strength in how to overcome challenges and the ability to develop more open-minded views. When you experience intolerance like this over something you can’t control, like sexuality, you begin to realize you don’t want that to happen to others.
One of the ways you can prevent this is by teaching your children how to treat others who are different from you: with respect. LGBT-identifying people know more than anyone that change can occur just by teaching others that being different is OK, and they’ll gladly instill that in their child’s mind. This isn’t to say that non-LGBT parents won’t do the same, but there’s more of a guarantee here.
This child will exude more confidence
When faced with challenges, like overcoming others’ disapproval of your uncontrollable sexuality, you have to learn how to heal. Part of the healing process is reminding yourself you’re going to be happier by being able to showcase your true self, which eventually leads confidence to manifest itself. Attaining confidence during this difficult time is a learning process all on its own, but it’s one that’s worth the ride.
Children learn everything they know outside of school from their parents. Sometimes, this includes the more important information: how to treat others, how to be happy in your own skin, how to handle life’s inevitable troubles and so on. From an early age, what your child learns about confidence comes from you. As an LGBT individual who learned to be happy with who they are despite disfavor from others, they can pass that self-assurance on.
LGBT parents are choosing to have kids
Since LGBT couples aren’t able to conceive biologically, they can’t experience unplanned pregnancies. This means they have to choose to start a family. With the limited options they have, they often turn to adoption since it has a 100 percent success rate. Other alternatives, including insemination and in vitro fertilization, are never guaranteed to work, and people don’t want to keep forking over money for something that may never be successful.
Unfortunately, there are heterosexual couples who experience infertility as well, but it doesn’t compare to every LGBT couple who knows from the start that they have no chance to conceive naturally. As a birth mother who was fortunate enough to be fertile, it’s good to keep in mind those who aren’t as lucky.
Some won’t even give LGBT people the time of day
There’s a plethora of LGBT people who, sadly, will face adversity for the rest of their lives. This means some birth parents will immediately dismiss them from their prospective adoptive parent list without truly getting to know them. Even if you don’t understand their sexuality, the least you can do is respect them and not cross them off your list until you find out who they are as people.
Just because you don’t agree with who they love, which they may be able to get you to understand from their viewpoint if given the chance, that doesn’t mean they aren’t worth your time. Who knows — giving them one chance could result in you finding everything you’re searching for. After all, life’s bright spots always come when they’re least expected, and you’ll never get anywhere by jumping the gun.
This child is sure to be loved
Every hopeful parent who chooses adoption to fulfill their dreams works hard to get there, regardless of sexuality, background or any other characteristic. Planning for adoption takes a lot of sacrifices, including setting aside any extra money earned, making room in the house and other life-changing decisions. Just like the affliction LGBT people face, the end result of having a family justifies the sacrifices taken to get there. During both of these painful stages, LGBT people know how love and support can make everything better. They know passing that love on to their children will be worthwhile, too.
LGBT parents will know how blessed they are to have an adoptive child since the odds of starting a family tend to be immensely stacked against them. They won’t take advantage of that. No one tirelessly plans and changes the entire trajectory of their life for nothing, right?
Choosing LGBT Parents as a Birth Mother
At Adoption Choices of Arizona, of course we want you to choose the individual or couple who you think is most suitable for your child. Whoever that is, is up to you, though you can always refer to your adoption specialist for guidance along the way. However, it’s important to remember through the entire process that LGBT adoptive parents have fewer options than everyone else. If their application is worthwhile, meeting them goes well and their values align with yours, what’s stopping you?
Meet the Author: Bre Offenberger is a rising junior studying journalism at Ohio University and the copy chief of the award-winning campus newspaper, The Post. She’s been working for Adoption Choices of Arizona since December of 2019.
When she’s not researching and writing for Adoption Choices, she’s listening to music and reviewing it for The Post, watching tennis or inviting friends to go on photoshoots with her.