Adoption is not Giving Up
Placing your child for adoption is not giving up your baby. The term “give up for adoption” is a dated term that is often used in casual conversation and in the media. It is derived from the phrase “put up for adoption,” but if we are to really think about it, “giving your baby up for adoption” is anything but giving up. It is an incredible sacrifice that a very brave woman makes for her baby, to give her baby a life full of love and opportunity. It is not easy. It is one of the hardest things a woman can do when she is not ready to parent her baby.
Adoption has come a long way since the mid-1800s, but for some reason, the language we use to describe it has not evolved as well. The term “put up for adoption” comes from a darker era in which orphaned children were once forced onto trains and literally “put up” on stages to perform for, or be inspected by, prospective adoptive families.
Instead of saying “give up” or “put up for adoption,” Adoption Choices of Arizona say making an adoption plan or place your baby for adoption; although you will find the terms “give up” and “put up” throughout our website because we want to make sure our resources reach women like you in need.
Making an adoption plan means making a thoughtful plan for your baby’s life ahead. You may not have planned to get pregnant, but you are certainly taking responsibility to make sure your child has a life filled with love, education, permanence, family support and many opportunities. This is far from giving up. You are planning for your child’s life.
Modern Day Adoption
Today, adoption looks vastly different. Expectant women or birth mothers and their children are expertly matched with the best possible families, based on each mother’s wants and needs. All the hopeful families are carefully screened and interviewed, to ensure they are ready to raise a baby. In most modern adoptions today, expectant/birth moms choose the family to raise their babies.
Modern adoption is full of choices. Birth parents make a choice to give their children a better life. They choose the person, or the couple, they feel would make the perfect parents to raise their child. They also have the opportunity to meet with, talk to, and keep in touch with this family. Birth parents can determine the level of communication with the adoptive parents, during pregnancy and throughout the child’s life. This is possible through open adoption.
Because adoption is such a positive path for many families, there is no deadline for deciding to take this path. You can take your time to consider this option throughout your pregnancy, and in the days following. In all states, birth mothers are required to wait until after the baby is born, before making a final decision. This allows them to meet their baby (if they wish) and carefully consider this decision.
Adoption can be a beautiful, positive, and loving choice for your baby if you are not in the position to raise a child. Remember, adoption does not mean you do not love your child. It does not mean you would not make a great parent. Rather, it provides a permanent, alternative option for you in this moment, right now, if you are not ready to become a mom or dad. Society or pop culture should not let you feel that you are “giving up.” Whether you are considering adoption, choosing adoption, or talking about adoption with others, try to use more modern and positive phrases and discuss your options with Adoption Choices of Arizona.