Those who are looking to start their own families most likely questions about the adoption process, and who better to get your answers from than adoptive parents themselves? If you don’t know an adoptive parent, we at Adoption Choices of Arizona have you covered. Here are some of the most frequently asked questions about a day in the life of an adoptive parent.
Is it harder to love your adopted child than your birth child?
Not every parent experiences the same type of feelings, so there is no definite answer. Ask most adopters whether they think their love for their children is any different than it would be if they had their own offspring, and you can generally expect a resounding no. Very likely, they’ll be offended it even crossed your mind. However, it’s safe to say that love forms differently. Although you may feel a deeper connection with your birth child, your adopted child is still just that – your own, who you’re going to spend the rest of your life nurturing, developing a bond with and loving. Love is inevitably going to come out of it, even if it takes longer than anticipated.
How do you handle being asked questions about adoption constantly?
With time, it becomes easier, guaranteed. It’ll become evident as soon as the home study begins that questions aren’t going to stop anytime soon. It may seem like you’re just being nagged with questions that could easily be answered with a quick online search, but it’s important to just remember people are asking you questions because they trust your viewpoint. That’s something to take pride in. Not everyone will respond to these consistent questions in the same manner, but over time, you’ll develop better questions and answers and a better feel for how to help others out.
How do you deal with the birth mother reaching out?
Once you and the birth parents work out what type of adoption will be — that is, open, semi-open, or closed — you should know what to expect. In the case of a closed adoption, where no contact is requested, there’s an immensely slim chance to hear from the birth mother. With an open adoption, the birth mother reaching out isn’t out of the ordinary at all. During the adoption process, a relationship will most likely form, and you’ll begin to understand what she wants out of it. This may include occasional phone calls, letters, photo exchanges, or so on. It may be a little strange at first, but as with the rest of this list, it gets easier with time.
Adoption won’t always be an easy ride for adoptive parents. Difficult questions with even more difficult answers will arise. Your adoption experience will be as unique as your family and fingerprints. Practice compassion, patience, and no matter what, stay confident in your choice to choose adoption!