Although adoption has become increasingly more common throughout time, its taboo label has yet to falter. Even as more people are looking to adoption to start a family and birth parents are searching for an adoption plan to give their child a better life, there is still a small stigma around it. Adoption Choices of Arizona realizes how stressful it can be to recognize this, and we are here to help you understand why this is. Here are some reasons adoption continues to be a taboo subject, along with ways to overcome its stigma.
Those with biological children may not understand
Some couples are lucky enough to have children on their own, and some aren’t. When a couple realizes they are infertile, adoption is often the go-to option. Those who are able to conceive may not comprehend the reality that having children on your own is simply not possible for others.
Overcoming the stigma: If approached about this, don’t feel the need to explain your situation. Instead, say the truth: you want a family, and this was a way to do it. There are a lot of children waiting for families, and if you had the resources to adopt, wouldn’t you do it, too?
“What about when your child wants to know about their birth parents?”
The day of when an adopted child will ask about their birth parents is always looming, but that shouldn’t make adoption an avoided subject in social conversations. It’s quite possible the child won’t want to know much about them, especially if it’s a closed adoption, where there are no interactions between the birth parents and adoptive families. Even if it’s an open adoption, the child has every right to know about their birth parents, no matter the circumstance, and everyone involved should respect that.
Overcoming the stigma: Simply ask, “So what?” If you, as the adoptive parents, have a good relationship with the birth parents, that shouldn’t be a problem. If you don’t, it’s still not a conversation to worry over, and, especially, a reason to forget the idea of adoption altogether. It’s a question that’s bound to come up eventually. If you’re prepared for it, it’ll go well.
Adoptive parents are expected to be perfect
This is simply wrong because no parent, adoptive or not, is perfect. Every parent is learning as they go. Adoptive parents may feel pressure from the birth parents to be faultless in an effort to show how grateful they are. They might hear complaints from other loved ones who wonder why they’re stressed after the adoption plan is over and the child is finally part of the family.
Overcoming the stigma: Remind these people that you’re human just like them. Any new situation is hard to manage at first, and it’ll become easier with time. You know you love your child, and if they can’t see that and be willing to talk about it, hopefully you can see how great you’re doing.
For more adoption resources, visit www.adoptionchoicesofarizona.org or text us at 1-480-900-5520.
