When a birth mother is getting ready to place her child for adoption, she tends to have a lot going on emotionally and physically. After all, she’s processing her feelings about the upcoming adoption and adjusting to pregnancy and its effects on her body. Meanwhile, friends and family members may be questioning or criticizing her choice to place her child for adoption. It can be an overwhelming time in her life! Which is why she needs more support than ever before.
Adoption Choices of Arizona is here to help you help her! As her child’s future adoptive parent, there are ways you can offer her support. Gestures and words of encouragement can go a long way towards letting her know that she is loved and appreciated. They may even help her to better handle daily stresses! Here are the 5 best ways to help birth mothers during the adoption process.
- You know that she loves her child. Tell her!
One of the most intense fears that a birth mother has is that her child will grow up believing that she didn’t love or want him or her. You can help support her in her decision to place her child for adoption by letting her know that you’re aware of her love for her child. Encourage her by telling her how sacrificial her decision is and how admirable and mature it is that she is putting her child’s needs before her own desires. You can even offer her an opportunity to write a letter or create a card for her child that explains her reasons for choosing adoption. This might put her mind at ease and quell the fear that her child will feel abandoned later in life.
- Send her a care package.
If you have regular contact with your birth mother, consider creating a care package for her. You can include items like lotions and relaxing candles that she can use to pamper herself during the last few months of her pregnancy. Include some of her favorite snacks, a maternity shirt, or other practical items that she can use on a regular basis. These sweet gestures remind her that she is loved and will continue to be a part of your lives through an open adoption over the years to come.
- Discuss communication strategies post adoption.
Open adoption often requires a lot of planning and preparation to determine how much contact everyone will have once the child is placed with the adoptive family. Don’t wait! Develop a system for communication right now to help ease the tension and stress for the birth mother. You might use a special Facebook or Google page to share pictures and updates with each other or come up with a scrapbook that you’ll send in six months. The options for the best and easiest way to communicate are almost endless! Discussing communication post adoption will help support a birth mother’s decision to place her child with you. Just as you’re nervous that she may change her mind and not place her baby for adoption after all, she is equally nervous that you may change your mind and not follow through with pictures, updates, or visits once the adoption has been finalized.
- Share photos of your preparation!
As you get things ready for the child, one of the ways that you can support a birth mother’s decision to place her baby is by showing her your preparation. Demonstrate tangible ways that you are already loving her child and getting ready for him or her to come home from the hospital. Sending pictures of the nursery and any other space that you create for the baby will show her just how much you already love her child, which will put her mind at ease!
- Connect her with more support.
Many birth mothers feel isolated because of their decision to place their child for adoption. One of the ways that adoptive parents can support birth mothers is to connect them with places and organizations that specialize in encouraging birth mothers. Consider telling them about local organizations to help them connect with others who are in similar situations. Remind them that many adoption agencies offer counseling and support groups for birth mothers post placement! All of this support can give her more peace of mind about the selfless decision she is making.
There are ways to help birth mothers.
A birth mother makes an incredibly difficult decision when choosing to place her child for adoption. She needs support and encouragement from the people around her. This includes you, her child’s future adoptive parent.
All it takes is a few simple actions to let her know that she is loved and that her decision is understood. She needs to know that she is making a selfless choice out of love for her unborn child and that you know and understand that decision.