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Adoption Guilt: Will I Feel Guilty if I Place My Baby for Adoption?

By Shannon Reilly

An unplanned or unwanted pregnancy may bring on many emotions as it may be a difficult and stressful time for you. In Arizona, your Pregnant adoption options include parenting the child, terminating the pregnancy, or Putting a child up for adoption. There are many adoption agencies in Arizona, but Adoption Choices of Arizona is here for you in this challenging time, whether you know you would like to move forward with adoption or not. You may consider how you will feel once you have decided on adoption and how you will cope with the decision after the child’s birth and after the adoption is finalized. There may be times when you feel adoption guilt for moving on with your life after placing your child up for adoption, but there are ways to cope with these feelings. 

What Should I Expect When Placing My Baby for Adoption?

When placing a child up for adoption, the process is not too difficult, but that is not to say that the emotions of guilt and the feeling that you have abandoned your child do not occur. The steps are listed below to clarify what will happen within the adoption process if you choose to move forward.

  • Contacting Adoption Choices of Arizona: This will be the first step in starting the process of adoption. You will schedule an initial meeting and be assigned an adoption specialist who will work with you through every step of the process. The adoption specialist may come to you, and if that is not a possibility, you may text call or video chat with them.
  • Completing Required Paperwork: During this step, you will decide what kind of adoption you would like to choose (Open, Semi-Open, or Closed). You will also go over any resources available to you regarding your specific circumstances.
  • Choosing an Adoptive Family: After choosing which type of adoption you would like to move forward with, you will go over family profiles and decide on a family that will raise your child.
  • Birth: After this is done, you will wait for the child’s birth and for the adoption to be finalized.

Dealing With Feelings of Guilt After Adoption

Many birth mothers feel a whirlwind of emotions while considering their Pregnant adoption options and even after the baby’s placement with their adoptive parents. You may feel guilty, lonely, and even overwhelmed when considering adoption, and these feelings may not go away even after the adoption finalization. The most important thing to remember is that you may not have been ready to be a parent, which is okay, and you did what you thought was best for you and your child. Listed below are some ways to try to cope with these feelings.

Finding Post-Placement Counseling

This is one of the many resources Adoption Choices of Arizona will offer you during your pregnancy and after. It is important to have someone to confide in, whether a friend or family that you trust or a counselor specializing in coping with the emotions of giving a child up for adoption. Your counselor may suggest some coping skills for you to try out, such as writing down your feelings or doing something that makes you genuinely happy such as a hobby.

Practice Self-Love Throughout the Adoption Process

This is the most important thing to work towards when coping with the many emotions of the adoption process. Remind yourself why you did this in the first place. You choose to give your child a better life, even if it causes you pain. That kind of selflessness is something to love yourself for. Reminding yourself of why you made this choice can help you move towards the guilt you may feel for placing the child up for adoption.

Finding Birth Mother Support

There are also birth mother support groups that you can search for and become a part of. These groups can help you through the feelings you are experiencing with the help of other birth mothers who may be feeling the same way. Having people to talk to who can relate to what you are going through is a great way to cope. For adoption resources or to begin your adoption journey, birth parents can visit us at Adoption Choices of Arizona or call or text us at 1-480-900-5520. If you are a prospective adoptive family hoping to adopt a baby, please instead visit us here!